"Never Been Kissed"

Holy smokes, that boy from the Warblers is soooo cute. Good for Kurt for standing up to the meathead. Whoa! Should've seen THAT coming. But I didn't. I was too busy cheering Kurt on.

Poor Bieste. I want them to be nice to her. Though her in a tutu en pointe at the barre with the cigar was a fairly priceless image I don't want to leave my imagination for a long time. Why did Schuester tell her what the kids are doing with her image? I swear, he gets more and more dumb each episode.

Holy crap. Bieste is 40!?! I'm almost 40. My friend Jen is 40. There is a HUGE disparity in the way we look. AND Schuester will kiss anyone.

Have the Glee writers lost interest in Rachel? She spoke 55 words and she mouthed "okay" once. She was in 4 scenes, including the song which she sang. And yeah, I counted. What? It's who I am.
I mean, I get it. Her story arc was covered last season. But she looks HOT and makes me wanna cut bangs again. (That paragraph had 60 words in it, until I started typing this sentence...)



I want a confetti cannon.

I'm conflicted

My nemesis hosted the gang from the film "The Sound of Music.
I watched. She, as is her way, made it all about her. I wouldn't expect less. ("I looove my faaavorite thiii-iiings")
Ugh.

But I love my BFF Julie Andrews.

Short Fuse

I like shows that take place in DC. I really do. I'm sure it's because I live here, and whatever. But I do get annoyed when shows that are located here mispronounce names of our stuff, like our cities. It's pronounced Mah-Clane. Not Mc-clean. And Gibbs AND McGee mispronounced it. Grr. That's just wrong. Didn't anyone who works on the show ever live in VA?

Mah-clane!

Oh, and lady at 411. It's Gleeb, road, not Glee-bee road. (Glebe Rd) (Though that one I found hilarious and use all the time to the point that someone thought they were mispronouncing it when they said Gleeb. Ha!)

Shock to the System

I've been watching Grey's Anatomy since the beginning. I was really sold on it at first. I loved the slightly off characters. It seemed to make sense to me that people who would choose to spend their lives elbow deep in people's bodies would be a little crazy.

Then they got too crazy.

I got bored. I think we all did. Grey's was no longer a destination show. (I knew of people who would have "Grey's night" with potluck dinners.)

Then they shot last season's finale. Holy smokes. When the gunman shot the Shrek doctor and then pulled Dr. Bailey out from under the bed, I thought I would never breathe again. Grey's Anatomy was back!

Okay, it is still neurotic and some of the things that annoyed me are still annoying. It's like getting back together with someone you dumped and you are not sure if you want to get as serious as you were before.

Tonight, when Cristina Yang loses her $**! in the OR and Meredith comes in and lies on the ground with her, I was in.

Actually, Cristina's storyline is the only one I am really interested in right now. I want to care about Meredith. I like that she left Derek in the clink. But Shonda Rhimes has some work to do to bring me back around to the others. By the way, having ditzy doctor who crushed on Shepherd move into Meredith's orphanage with them is not the way to do it. Meredith, who refused to acknowledge her father or sister for so long would not come around to this silly girl so easily.

It's Brittany......Bitch.

I love Britney Spears. I love Glee. I do not love the two together. Wow. This was maybe the worst episode. The writing was heavy handed. Will Schuster is uptight. You know how I know? Because they told me 7000 times. I dunno if he is uptight, but after that little performance to "Sailing", I am thoroughly convinced that he is a super dweeb.

The songs seemed like karaoke. Bad karaoke. Let's break down the musical numbers, shall we?

1. Brittany sings "I'm a slave 4 U". Turns out she has a pretty good voice. She sings it a little slow, but it's good enough. I am glad for this sequence because we got to safely ogle her ridiculous body. Damn, I need to get to the gym. But the dancing was frenetic. The girl is a dancer. Couldn't they have choreographed a little better? And what was with her dancing with children whilst in the red pleather ensemble from "Oops, I did it again". Very confusing and distressing.

2. Brittany and Santana sing "Me against the Music". I was concerned with Santana's use of that cane and the fact that she thrust her crotch into the face of a disinterested boy. She's creepy just like Madonna was in the original video. I do love her voice and the relationship between her and Brittany. Brittany does do the whole tongue hyper-extended over her front teeth to lip sync "t"s. Question: why is Brittany's hair so dirty looking? I thought Britney did not get all white trashy until she met K-Fed. Oh, who am I kidding...
Britney shows up at the end of this song sequence and she looks old. Old. And, well, old.

3. Rachel sings "Hit Me Baby One More Time". They made it higher for her and she sang it. I mean that she made it all singy, and not cool. Like she is trying way too hard. Like a pageant kid. She also does the over-lip-synching.

4. Artie sings "Stronger". Baybay... Britney appears in a cheerios uniform at the onset of this song. She needs to fire her hair stylist. Her extensions look sooo crappy. Unless she puts them in herself. (Remember that Matt Lauer interview). This was sung fairly well, but smeh... Bored.

5. New Directions sing "Toxic". I love that they are finally letting Brittany sing. The kids in the audience flip out then proceed to have a massive group masturbation orgy. Very distressing. Very, very distressing.  And why did Kurt place two hats over Mercedes' boobs? That was odd. Very odd. Then the massive freak out for the fire alarm going off? My school had two fire alarms in the last week and neither time did anyone rush out of the building. In fact, we contemplated staying. (We're fierce like that).

Rachel wears a revamped version of Britney's ensemble from "Hit Me". It does not look too different from what she normally wears. This show is confusing me.

The comments the kids make as they come out of anesthesia are pretty awesome.
Brittany "Are you a cat?" "I pet a snake"
Rachel "Is this real life" (Nice nod to David after dentist)

Why is Will so against Britney? And why is he so into Christopher Cross? That did not make any sense. Then they slid in an awesome Paramore song? Huh? How does Hayley Williams tie in to Britney? Also, she sang it wrong. Just one word, but still bugged me. But she sang it really well.

So, this episode was suckily written, but I learned that Britney makes you cool.

Raising Hope Pilot

Raising Princess Beyoncé Hope.

Wow, so much happens in the first ten minutes of this show. It's tightly written and kept me engaged.

*Spoiler*

It's a shame they kill off the baby momma so quickly because the girl who plays her is super cute.

I love Martha Plimpton and I am so glad to see her in something again. She was briefly on a couple of episodes of "The Good Wife" and was great. I am glad she gets a meatier role. And she gets to say things like "dramastically".

They nail the poor white people family. (I try not to use white trash, because it is so very derogatory, but were I to use it in the colloquial sense, it would fit here.)

I think this show is so wrong, it's right and hopefully will continue with the "Omigosh, they didn't" type of chuckles.

SNL Katy Perry (Host-Amy Poehler)

Katy Perry is a beautiful girl. I have not figured out why she is so desperate to be a cartoon. She sang "California Gurls" to a New York crowd, and seemed surprised when they did not respond to her "Come on" (and sing California gurls).

She did not sound bad. She started a little wobbly, but she figured out pretty quickly that she could stop singing the whoa-oh-oh- parts and leave that to the recording she was singing along to. In short, she sounded like I do when I sing along to the radio, except a little better.

She sounded great on the Teenage Dream song. (I love that song). I was prepared to say that she does not have a great voice, but she sang the hell out of the Boogerman song.

This entry took a turn. I was all, whatever Katy Perry, when I started. But she was cute. And I love how she poked fun at the Elmo debacle by wearing his face stretched across her massive boobs.
Well played, Perry.

Mid-September madness

Joel McHale always wears this skinny ties. I was thinking he was just a super big Mad Men fan. But I just saw him standing next to Patrick Warburton, whom I have always thought is the tallest man on TV (wait, what about Raymond's brother from Everyone Loves Raymond maybe he is actual tallest), and Joel is a good inch or so taller than him. Maybe the ties are normal size, but they just look skinny on him.

So Paris Hilton is not welcome in Japan anymore... Anyone fancy a trip to Tokyo?

Back to School

The Middle! I kind of love this show. I think I may even like it better than Modern Family. Scandalous thinking on my part, I know. I love the family dynamics here. I love the weirdness. I love Sue's optimism, Brick's bookishness (bookishness), and well, I think Axel wandering about in his boxers is unnerving. But you can't win them all. Let's see what the Hecks are up to.

When I was little school always started on or around my mom's birthday, which she considered to be the best birthday gift. I never understood. Wasn't she sad that her baby was leaving her?

The show opens on the end of summer and the madness that is the first day of school when you are the parents of three kids.

Ha! Sue's middle name is Sue. That's great.

This is another show that uses voiceover. Here, however, it works as we are in Frankie Heck's head as she lives her life as a mom. I feel like she is how I would be if I could ever roofie someone long enough to marry me and help me bear their children. Or maybe I just relate because I think I was (still am?) Sue Sue Heck. She gets to be in on the all inclusive Cross Country team. She wears her new team sweatshirt all the time, even though it is way too hot. I would do that.

As for Frankie (the mom), she opts to try to get ahead of problems. This leads to mayhem. I would do this and this would happen. Sigh.

This is a great show. Watch it.

Pilot

I am not thrilled about watching this new comedy "Running Wilde". It just looks kind of stupid to me. I hate how they got all clever to name the kid "Puddle". The fact that the show is being told from this kids point of view is an interesting convention, but not one I am certain of thinking highly of.

I really love Will Arnett, but I feel like he needs a talented cast around him to keep his characters from becoming too over the top, or just simply too much. I like Keri Russell, but... well... I really don't have anything to say about her. I did love Waitress.

I would not even be watching the pilot if it were not for it being on right after Raising Hope which is another one I am on the fence on (leaning a bit more towards like than not, though). So here goes. I am gonna watch this show and then we can can discuss if I have changed my opinion.

Already we start with a voiceover... Ugh. It's a bit heavy-handed being told the story from the girl who does not talk. I have to admit that I lost interest pretty quickly and opted to wash my cat's water bowl instead. When I came back, there were natives in a pool.

I dunno about this show. It's not very sophisticated. I hate that networks think that American viewers are stupid. There is a sweetness between the two leads, but I am not thinking I will be back to see how they progress.

The Town

Wow. This movie was non-stop action. It was violent. It was fast-paced. It was so much more.

This was an incredibly well written film. The stress level is flying off the roof, and they manage to bring a line in that makes you laugh and still stay true to the storyline and the characters. None of the characters are left hanging. In other words, everyone we meet is important and their story is completed, at least enough for us viewers to be satisfied.

Ben Affleck does a gorgeous job directing. He goes from a super saturated look, to black and white. Intense noise to dead silence. He uses these conventions carefully to create an extremely compelling film.

It's a Boston film, but not a Bahston film. The accents (save for maybe Blake Lively's) are not painfully noticeable. It just happened to take place in Boston.

Great story. Great film. Go see it. (Ben Affleck is getting sexier with age).

"Patricia Field"

It's episode three of America's Next Top Model, season 15, I think. So, ostensibly we should have 14 current supermodels thanks to Tyra and her band of merry men. Alas... So Tyra is mixing it up Italian Vogue this season and reaching for the heights of TOP model. This is great as Tyra is so clever and never gets clichéd.
Par example:
2st episode: Catwalk for fashion show was several stories off the ground. (That's soo top model!)
3rd episode: Girls are fallen angels and are strapped into a harness.

Dear Tyra, you don't have to be so literal.

There is one girl, Rhianna, who looks like a leprechaun.

But I want to talk about Anamaria. She was kicked off last week. This child stated that she is on a severe calorie restricted diet. She likes how she looks and works hard to stay so slim. Then she added that her mum wants her to gain some weight. At her photo shoot, she looked like an Auschwitz survivor. I took this picture off of the TV which does not show how very scary skinny she is.

You could see her pelvic bone. Her elbows are bigger than her arms. She's 5'10" and weighs about 110. Gross. During her elimination Tyra tells her that she is very slender and that is not good for modeling. She goes on to say that Anamaria could be the most healthy girl, and other lame ass platitudes that make it okay for Anamaria to continue on her self destructive path.

This little girl is going to starve herself to death. And Tyra had an opportunity to do something about it. Tyra had a chance to take a firm stance against anorexia and did not take it. Unacceptable.

Simon says buh-bye

I lost interest halfway through the season. But I am back to see off my boy Simon.

Seacrest says that the race is tight between the two finalists. But when he asks the crowd to cheer for each one, the noise is way louder for Lee. I, however, already know that the chick won because of the awesome way that AI always runs over into the next show and I DVR all of my shows. So, thanks for that, Fox.

We start off with another crappy group song from the top ten. That bass player is hot. Wait, those Alice Cooper kids are cool. Hey, Alice Cooper? Awesome. Are Wayne and Garth gonna pop out, too? (I hear they are friends with the Coop).

Seriously, that bassist looks like what I imagine Taylor Momsen (Gossip Girl) thinks she looks like.

Hey, it's that guy from last season. I still can't remember his name. He is so unremarkable. Apparently the AI people think so, too, as they left the mics on during the beginning of his song, so we can hear Seacrest talk to the director. Oops. I wonder if That Guy is still married to his little blonde girl. I always feel like people who were married before becoming famous never stay married to that person. But he is still wearing his ring. Yup, still married, according to IMDB. Impressive.

Ooh, a Simon retrospective. Let's see how his Monchichi hairstyle has evolved over the years...

WOW. Seacrest and Randy are bad actors, and I am not paring homage to Michael Jackson here. Yikes. That little pseudo-celebration was hokey. I guess they did it on purpose to avoid the wrath of the Simon Cowell. Still.

Ugh, I forgot how bad this season was. I had selective amnesia. Everyone basically sucked. I feel like I am on a cheap cruise being forced to suffer through the "entertainment" in order to get at the free buffet and drink my face off. (Though, vicious circle? Bad entertainment=drinking more?).

Ooh! BeeGees! Damn, they can't hit their signature notes anymore. We need Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon to save the day.

Michael McDonald got old. Hmm, guess that happens. I hate that because I don't feel like I am getting older, yet he was old when I loved him as a little person. He sounds sooo good. He looks good, too. We'll just ignore the awkward hand grab/release thing the two Michaels did at the end.

Now it is time for the insult song. I have one, too.

(Sing to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star).

This show is pretty stupid now, as we say bye to Simon Cowell.

What will next season look like, without the snark of that British guy?

(Poetic license in effect!)

Who cares? No one will see.

At least I can guarantee it won't be me.

Maybe I will not be following in Kara's footsteps and become a songwriter.

Are they trying to make Dane Cook relevant again? Remember when he was kind of funny? I saw him with Jen at the Improv and we laughed and clapped, and hi-fived the guys we shared a table with. I even have a signed comedy CD from him. Now I hide it.

The people are rhythmic clapping? Ugh. I hate that. Oh no! Muffin top attack. Is that the girl from Manassas? Yikes. Oh, the nauseating camera rip away from the creeps on stage. Maybe they were trying to say that Dane fit in with the creepy AI Castaways. Glad that's over.

Dude, the cleave is out on these ladies. Holy smokes. They are singing Christina's "Beautiful" and I guess they are like, and if you don't think I am beautiful, at least check out my rack. But that is a hard song to sing, and they did not sing it well.

Geez, who is their choreographer?

Oh, I would not be singing with Christina Aguilera. No way. That child could make anyone sound bad. She has the most talented singing voice I have ever heard. I am judging the hell out of her though for her hair and outfit. Wouldn't this sad ballad have earned a pretty dress? It looks like she forgot part of her costume and the way the tights and the bodysuit come together, it accentuates that part where the leg goes into the hip and it looks so weird.

Ricky Gervais!! Yay. Hmm, jokes fell flat. Oops. Is Ricky a vampire? He has the longest canines I have ever seen.

I like Lee. He has a great voice and that little bit of rasp that I adore. I'd rather he win. (Not that I am invested). Maybe Crystal can afford a dentist now. Though, did Bo Bice ever fix his jacked up mouth? This choreography is sooooo awkward. I feel weird watching them. Embarrassed. It seems like all the older singers are losing their upper registers. They can't quite get those higher notes. Sad. Otherwise they sound great. I love Hall and Oates. Especially the clapping songs like Private Eyes *clap* are watching you *clap clap*. Good to see that Oates got dressed up for the occasion in his finest red flannel.

Man, I am having some serious flashbacks. they are taking me through my entire life, musically. HA! They have Alanis out there and they changed the lyrics to "Would she go down with you to the theatre". Awesome. Hahaha. How come Alanis always looks like she is about to chomp down on the microphone like a T-Rex? Love her.

The two finalists got to keep their customized cars from Ford (I own stock in Ford so I am happy about this kind of thing). But that exchange was awkward. Crystal tried to celebrate with Lee and he basically blew her off. And then the energy level was -99. Weirdos.

AI is having some serious audio issues. What was up with the random guitar strumming during that boy who Kara has a crush on's song? Aw, all of my former acid wash jeans wearing girlfriends are flipping out. Bret, this is your year, dude. (Good and bad.) Just like you are singing, "every rose has it's thorn". Go on with yer bad self. And lay off the tanner.

They are delving into Simon's loves, or his flirting. I am offended. He loves ME! He tells me on AI the Wii game. Though if he in all honesty, kissing with his mouth wide open like he is going to ingest your face, I am going to have to break up with him.

Excellent. They choreographed a dance for "Pants on the Ground". That old man is a better dancer than all of the contestants combined. But he is singing "Git your pants on the ground". Isn't that going against the whole message? What on Earth is William Hung attempting to sing. That was a very confusing number.

They have this big send off for Simon, but they just kick Paula off? Seems kind of crappy to me. She shows a lot of style by being on this show and being so gracious. Good to see she is still a little loopy.

Kelly! She must have inherited that necklace from Paula. How on earth did Fantasia win? Compared to the other winners, her voice is crazy. (And not good crazy). Taylor Hicks is a curious winner, too. And where the heck is David Cook?

Simon actually gave a standing O. That's a first. And could his shirt be any more unbuttoned? Maybe he got a belly button piercing and wants the world to accidentally see it. Why did Paula join Simon on stage? It's weird. Like when people bring their kids up who then stand awkwardly to the side.

I am using the words "weird" and "awkward" a lot. Hmm.

Is it just me, or does Janet sound just like Michael? I love her hair. She looks fabulous even dressed like Stevie Nicks. I am going to fast forward through the rest of the song though. Bored. Oh, she gets a second song. Yay. I love Rhythm Nation. (Even though it took me three tries to spell AND then it is not even Rhythm Nation. It's Nasty. Dang.) She is loving the lace cut out sides of her jumpsuit because all of her posing is so we can see it. Does she have a bow on her butt? What is that? Oh, ha. It's her mic.

I really don't care about why these two should be the next American Idol. They are as impressive to me as that guy who won last year.

Okay, here we go. We find out the winner. It's... SIMON COWELL! What? Yeah, have you seen the cars he drives? This show made him a winner for sure! The singing winner is... (Lee looks like he gonna puke) .... what? Lee won? Yay. I thought I saw Crystal win. You tricked me, Fox. Or shall I say you outFoxed me. (Ha).

I think it is mean that they have to sing when they are so emotional. No one can do that well.

Okay, bye Simon.

Will I be lost without it?

Live blogging the last episode of Lost!

I am wondering if I am going to be happy with the wrap up of this convoluted show. If it is a dream, I am gonna be pissy about it.

I kind of want to see sideways Ben get together with Danielle Rousseau and be step-dad to Alex.

Matthew Fox lives up to his name. Yum. He wants to stop doing TV and focus on films. I think he is more of a television actor. I don't really see him in film. Just my opinion.

Oh, we are going to find out who Shepherd's ex-wife/baby mama is. I wonder if they will go with Julie Bowen. Nope. Well! Juliet. Wait until Sawyer finds out.

Okay, wow. I had big plans of writing about the end of this series I committed six years of my life to. But... I have nothing to say. Nothing. Really? They're all dead? That's the best the could come up with? Bah. Boring. Besides, wouldn't everyone on that plane be in the church? And who was playing Jack's son? Was it some kid who died on the plane?

More unanswered questions. But my response is the same as to the finale. Whatever.

Holy crap!

I am half hour into Grey's Anatomy season finale and I am basically freebasing adrenaline. My heart is racing. I am shaky. I feel like I am in that hospital with them.

***Spoiler Alert***

The gunman just pulled Dr. Bailey from under the bed. My hands were already over my ears as I heard the Shrek-like doctor beg for his life and get shot. Then I commenced hyperventilating along with Miranda as I feared his bullets would find a home in her as well. I already have a fear that they are going to take out Meredith Grey. (I read in TV Guide that she wants out and that they are going to make the Grey in the title be Lexie).

Hot damn, Grey's Anatomy! You have made this show exciting again. This season has been so boring. Way to nail the finale (at least 30 of the 120 minutes so far!). Oh, it's on again. Be back soon.

Oh no! He found Derek! What's gonna happen?

I'm scared that he is patronizing him. Or that Meredith is going to screw it up. Nope. It's the silly doctor girl. Oof. Right in the heart. Sheet. Dang. Where will I get my Patrick Dempsey fix now?

Ooh, silly doctor girl is smart. She is humanizing herself so he can't kill her. Smart.

Hmm, the gunman backed off because he saw the SWAT team enter? I call bs on that. He was out to get Derek and nothing was going to stop him. He shot at least 3 doctors, a nurse, and a guard prior to getting to him. He would not have backed off because of the coppers. He was on a mission. He had him in his hand.

Aw crap. Silly doctor girl heard her life saving info from Oprah? Stinkin' Oprah. Always coming through to save the day.

He was going to take out Lexie? Now she is going to feel guilt forever. Wonder how that will be manifested in the next season.

Okay, the SWAT guy shot him. Those guys are expert marksmen. Why is he shot in the shoulder? They missed all vital organs and bone. Okay, maybe not bone, but important stuff fer sure. That is almost the most innocuous place on the body to hit. That is just stupid. They shoot to kill and nothing else. That guy had time to wave Lexie out of the way, while the shooter lay on the floor. I call BS again.

Gary Clark? That's the shooter's name? Sorry former Redskin. That's a sucky legacy there.

(Sidenote: I just saw a commercial for the series finale of Lost. Now that the show is done, Josh Holloway can finally cut his lame-o mullet.)

I wonder what the final body count is gonna be on this episode? We lost Dr. Pixie (Reed). That's it, so far. Uh oh. Dr. Webber just went in. He is definitely gonna be a goner.

Did Ellen Pompeo have a nose job at some point? She has that perfect plastic surgeon's nose. Slim bridge, slight upturn at the tip. Just curious.

Chandra Wilson (Bailey) is not a pretty cryer. She is not an ugly cryer either. She is a great actor, though. I don't know when how people cry became an item of import to me. Katherine Heigl was a pretty cryer. Diane Lane=not a pretty cryer. I want to stab her when she cries. (Sorry)

Back to the show: So sexy Scotsman Kevin McKidd (Dr. Owen Hunt) is on the scene. Is it me, or does he seem assholey when he talks to Meredith? When he walks into the OR, I think he is having a PTSD moment. I paused it, so I don't know if the shooter is there for real, or if I am right. But if he is there, how the heck did he get in without silly doctor girl noticing him? Let's find out. (un-pause).

I think it is PTSD. I think that Cristina is just freaking out. Hmm. Wait. I may be wrong. (What? I guess there is a first time for everything). Dang. The PTSD just shot Owen! (Ellen Pompeo cries pretty).

Oh, Dr. Sexy Eyes is smart, not just a pretty face. He may have saved Derek's life.

Meanwhile, back with Dr. Bailey, Mandy Moore, and Dr. Shrek. He's dying. It's sad. It's gonna be one of those things where he dies right before the saviors (SWAT) come and say they are safe to be moved. I hate that. AND he is saying to find Dr. Pixie (Reed) and tell her that he had a crush on her and I am yelling to the screen that they will find each other in the light though she may be just as tasteless there. How do they get actors to be so pale, when they die? Do they airbrush them?

Aw man. Gary Clark has another victim. Meredith is having a miscarriage. Brutal. Kick us while we are down, why doncha, Shonda? (Then a commercial for the news in which they mention Brett Michaels who has been in the hospital for a brain hemorrhage. I thought he may have been another victim. But he just had a stroke. Dude. What where you doing in the 80's/90's?)

Here comes the gun law PSA. (And no I don't think people should be able to just go and buy a gun. I also think ammo should be harder to come by.)

Man, Webber is a sexy man. Seriously. And he is keeping to his AA promise. Good for you, Dr. Webber! NO! Don't drink it!! Pouring it out. Well played, sir.

At the beginning of the show, Derek said he wished someone would shove something down his throat so he could see the inside of an OR. I thought, be careful of what you wish for!

Oh gosh, how in love I am with Callie and Arizona. Yay! Just yay. That is a sweet relationship and I am glad it is staying together.

One last thing, in regards to Meredith's pregnancy. Is it just me, or did she forget to remove the sticker from the pregnancy test? It just looked like the pregnancy was a sticker. I dunno. Shows over. That was a hell of a ride. Good show. I will be back next season, simply based on this episode. Well played! (And they got rid of two characters I was not too fond of, so there's that, too.)

Men!

Why is it that a man can sit still and allow his lady to give him a massage for six hours, but when it's his turn to give the massage, it turns into two shoulder squeezes, then full body contact commences in a non-massage-inal type of way.

Rules of Engagement (CBS) covered this issue well tonight. And they also handled the fact that when men don't want to do something that a woman is forcing them to do, they do it so poorly that the woman will never again ask them to complete that task.

Seriously, I think they hand out a book to men in grade school that teaches them how to get out of doing stuff.

Canon 5D Mark II

They shot the season finale of House (Fox) with the Canon 5D Mark II. You can tell straight from the gorgeous opening close up shots. That camera does macro so beautifully. It is a DSLR (digital single lens reflex), which is not generally considered for use as a video camera, but this one shoots fabulously! See this short and the making of it.

The nice thing about this camera is that it is small and that you can change the lenses. But what stinks is that you need to have it connected to some sort of rigging to keep the picture steady.

Geez, the color and the lighting is so beautiful. The depth of field is fantastic. I am in love.

This is the camera I want. It is about $3K for just the body which is a lot for me, but pennies when you consider the budget of a television show like House. They should get me one since I am writing about them here. Or maybe Canon should give me one and I will make movies for them to show on their website. After all, I have always been a Nikon SLR girl. I have a D60 and N6006, but after doing research, I have firmly settled on the Canon. (You know, when I have loads of money someday.) You hear that Mr. Adachi? I'm a film student, on the precipice of greatness. You can be the one I thank at the Academy Awards ceremony in 2017. Or you, David Shore, you can be the one I allow to help me produce my super awesome TV show that I will tell you about after you give me this great gift of the camera.

Say cheese!

XOXO

What is up with Jenny Humphrey (Taylor Momsen)'s hair? Those are the worst extensions I have ever seen. They are like the pieces of lint that I yank forcibly from the dryer vent, or possibly whatever a long haired girl might have a plumber remove from her stopped up tub drain. Ew.

AND! the child is a sixteen year old actress playing a fifteen year old girl. What is going on with her boobs? They look like old cougar boobs, all squished up into her armpits. I don't get it. Are they fake? Is she heavily cutletted? Why the massive cleave on the tyke? She is truly the first young cougar I have ever seen.

What's with this show? These kids are all teenagers, yet they get carded less than I do. Yes, I realize Manhattan is a different world, but their parents seem to be free in the pouring of alcohol as well.

My niece is the same age as the Gossip Girl characters. She had better not be doing this stuff.

Auditions Premiere

So it begins AGAIN! At the end of every season, I declare that I am not a huge American Idol fan. In 2009, my great friend Jen got tickets for us to see the AI concert with the howler monkey and Anoooooop at the Verizon Center in DC. I responded, when seeing the tickets, with less than enthusiasm. (Jen was very disappointed with me). We went to the concert and had the best time ever though I believe that has more to do with Jen than it does with the immense talent of the AI crew. Still, my interest in the karaoke show wanes once the top ten is declared. Weird, isn't it, that that is when I start to write about it? Hmm.

In any case, I am watching the season premiere of the show tonight. I don't even know how many seasons it has been. As soon as I see Simon, I am yanked back in. Why do I have such a thing for him? And now he is leaving after the season? What to do?

Victoria Beckham is a guest judge and I feel like she and I could be great friends. Leave me alone. I live happily in my own little world. I call it Bugville. It's major! I thought Ellen was supposed to host. I am not thrilled about this. She hosted So You Think You Can Dance and was not funny or even very interesting to me. I am hoping she proves me wrong and is wildly entertaining.

This one girl auditioned because she totally nails the AI Wii game. I blame Simon for her thinking that her video game success will relate to show success because in an interview about the game, he claims that the game will help. I hope lots of people audition because the Simon avatar was all "1,000,000 percent YES!" on the game.

I also think that Proactiv should sponsor this show. (The guy who made me think this likes Chris Brown because he believes that he touches young people all around the world. Touches. more like punches. What? Too soon?) He wants to touch America. I think Chris Hansen will be speaking to him in a few years.

What the heck is that Swatch that Randy is wearing? Are the 80's really really really making a comeback? If so, there are certain things I would like to ban from this renaissance. Pegged pants. LA Gear shoes (though they may be more 90's. I still don't want to see them ever again). Frosty pink lipstick. MC Hammer. And grown men with Swatches. No. To be fair, I had two and I wore them at the same time on the same wrist. Awesome.

Andrew is awesome. He looks like a serial killer and acts like one, too. (Save for the missing arm cast, van, and sofa that he needs helping loading into aforementioned van). He is upset about waiting. This whole industry is a hurry up and wait industry. Kara said he needs a spanking. I thought she did not like him and now she is threatening him with a good time? She confuses me sometimes.

(Ooh, Simon smirked. I LOVE YOUUUU.)