Thursday, May 21, 2009

Goody Chelsea

Is Chelsea Handler being styled by the women from The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints?

(sorry for the crappy quality of the pictures)

It's over

Crap. Now what am I going to write about?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I rolled my eyes so many times they rolled into the back of my head.

I was just going to have this be a one word entry with the word being either "Damn" or "Yay". But then we were exposed to the brutal murder of P!nk's "So What". Hearing Jasmine Murray singing tonight made me wonder how she got there in the first place. Then I thought for sure that Scott was either going to wildly flail himself off the stage, or be pushed.
Dean-Anthony Bradford... has the same singing technique as Adam. Seriously. Lil Rounds was watching the camera so hard and did not start performing until she was sure it was on. That sucks for some reason.

Hey, it's Jason Mraz. I sang one of his songs with a band last night. I forgot all of the words. I could only wooo along. I have new respect for singers. I am going to crash their show again next week and attempt to sing a Paramore song. Hope I can recall the words. It was my first public singing (that no one could hear - whatever, I still sang in public).

Oh, someone got her boobs done. When Ryan said she ought to go out there and perform, I really expected to see a stripper pole descend from the rafters. Kara schooled bikini girl and showed she has an equally hot body. (The subsequent attempts at closing her dress were an added level of hilarity, especially when paired with the bitchy sidelong glances Katrina gave her).

Damn, Cyndi Lauper looks fabulous. She makes me want to go platinum again. She and Allison were great together. I have the words to "Time After Time" taped on the inside of the closet doors in my childhood bedroom. They are at bellybutton level which I assume was my eye level at the time of their taping.

Based on the last Ford commercial, Kris is a way better singer than Adam.

Oh yay! Crazy is back!!! Oh, she was not that entertaining.

The finale song was great. I liked them singing Queen. I even could listen to Adam singing for a second.

Well, here goes....


It's almost over. Yay. a

I am so over this season. It has taken me until tonight to watch last weeks shows. I can't figure out why people like Adam Lambert. His screeching is not talent. We got over the hair band sound in the 90's. I hate the timbre of his voice. Ech. And he will probably win. Strangely, all week there has been no info about who was booted, but I am thinking Gokey is gone. Oh, who cares. If Adam Lambert is an American Idol, then I am no longer a fan. His screeching is not fantastic, nor is it talent. It's just screeching. Dis.Like.

I am now watching the Wed's show and I see my new favorite person, Bill Hader. HADER!!! Oh, there is Jonah Hill. I saw you singing "Waterfalls" in Koreatown in LA. Dawg, YOU were pitchy. Oh. fast forward. Having a nine year old flick his groin at me is not pleasant. There have to be better was of promoting donations to third world countries.

I feel like Adam Lambert would become a major douchebag if given fame. And is it me, but is Katy Perry as annoying as Adam Lambert will be next year?

Okay, Kris is in. But you all know this already. Please let him win the whole thing!

Hey Danny, I think you have a career if you want it. Just go get it.

Okay, now I am watching this Tuesday's episode. I have to listen to the howler monkey and the monchichi.

Adam is resinging Mad World. He doesn't connect with the song for me, but neither does the audience and that's why they love him. I don't get it. They love him singing it, but he does not sing with the sadness of someone who would sing those words. They love this presentation of the song, but it is not his. This version belongs to the Donny Darko people. And, yes, they mastered it. He kind of sucks for stealing their version.

Kris sang Bill Withers. He made it his own. That way beats Adam. Okay, Kris still is a bit of "that guy" for me, but I wayyyyy prefer him to the male Jennifer Hudson. Please, I don't want to see Adam's tongue anymore. I think the microphone agrees with me. (I think American Idol producers owe him a lot of money).

Oh look, I just spotted Katie Holmes and her child with L. Ron Hubbard, Suri.

Okay, seriously. In regards to popular music, Kris Allen is far more likely to appeal to a wider group of people. Adam Lambert only appeals to ex-hair band fans and those who would have like the hair bands, but were too young or too old.

Blech. Can't listen anymore. Bedtime. But, I veto Adam. Yucky. No!


Friday, May 15, 2009

These genes are tight

I really wonder what casting people are thinking sometimes when they cast younger versions of their stars. On Gossip Girl, they decided to cast Brittany Snow as the teenage Lily van der Woodsen. That's great and Brittany was great, however, unless Lily now wears colored contacts, they missed a rather vital part of Kelly Rutherford's face. She has brown (or hazel) eyes and Brittany's eyes are unmistakeably blue.

Meanwhile, over on Lost, the casting agents went back in time and found the actual kid forms of Evangeline Lilly, Michael Emerson, and Josh Holloway. It's striking.

On a related note, casting agents of 90210, thank you for casting a girl that could soooo be the child of Rob Estes and Lori Loughlin.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

It's a boys club

Paula performed tonight. I feel like we got a glimpse into Britney's future. Paula did a great job lipsyncing, I guess. They did the whole song basically in the dark. But her dancers did gamely hold the mic stand for her. Then at the end, they turned her mic on so she could wheeze "Gentlemen, I'm just here for the music!" into it. (To be fair, she really did not seem out of breath, but her mic was right under her nose and made sounds everytime she took a breath). I want to be so much funnier with this, but I am still suffering from the indignities of having ridden my bicycle home from work in the rain and not only having to huff and puff my way up The Hill (not the Capitol one), but also having a wet bum. So do me a favor and imagine this being way funnier.

Oh, ew. Paula has the Tori Spelling cleaved chest. And No Doubt is back together and announces with a frightening performance of a really old song? When she came down the stairs, Gwen reminded me of the spider walk from The Exorcist. And why is she doing pushups? Is this show a tribute to Ghosts of Girlfriends Past which is a modern day Scrooged which was a modern (then) version of A Christmas Carol. Ghosts of performers past (No Doubt); Ghosts of performers future (Paula as Britney); um, and the final idol contestants as present? I dunno. This show is weird.

Nest week, the remaining kids get to go home and be celebrated. They showed some of the past contestants doing this and I did not recognize a bunch of them. If they are so great, why have they not done something with their careers? Hmmm? HMMMM? I am ornery again. Hmm.

First to be safe: pleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdampleasedon'tbeAdam
Yay! Kris is safe. Little monkey face. Who is that guy his wife is hugging?

Damn. I forgot to mutter "pleasedon'tbeAdam" and now he is safe. Crap.

I always find the songs they sing as their swan song appropriate. Cry, Baby.
Allison will do fine. My boss loves her.

need new eardrums

Oh goodie. Rock week. This means the howler monkey will be in his element and I will be subjected to a swarmy screechy song. And he did not let me down. I think that the set is falling apart because his shrill voice is shattering glass and shredding the wires holding it in place. I am glad this show is almost over. (So why do I still watch? I am here to entertain YOU).

Allison should have sung Bobby McGee. I love that song. Cry Baby was boring.

I like the duet, but when they started hitting the song, they had a difficult time with staying in tune. But Kris and Danny sound great together.

I liked Kris' song. I am not much of a Beatles fan. I am also not on the same page as Kara. I thought he made a fairly repetitive song interesting without being shrieky.

Oh, man. Danny is now shrieking at me. Not as annoying as Adam, but damn near close. What is going on? Ugh. I bet they love him. Well, they seem to love screeching.

Allison/Adam duet. Screech/growl... Judges on feet...sigh.

Dunno who is going home. Everyone in bottom 3 except Howler Monkey.