Glee-ality

Final Four - Season one finale. Who is gonna win? Let's break it down, shall we? (alphabetically).

Alex: He is a diva, but he has talent. I just wonder if there is more than one layer to him? Also, he is just the male/gay version of Mercedes which could either make or break him. I would not tune in to see him (though I would watch anyway) because I don't think he is a very good actor.

Damian (aka: Ireland): He has been in the bottom three a lot. But that also means that Ryan has seen him often enough to be able to have thought about a character for him. His accent would make him a good candidate for the short character arc as he could be an exchange student. I think he charms Ryan, but he is not very talented. I am not a fan of his singing or his dancey eyebrows.

Lindsay: She's got the looks, the voice, the acting chops. She just needs to get out of her own way. I just don't know what Ryan would write for her. There is nothing that makes her quirky (obviously quirky).

Samuel: His smoldering gaze is the only look he's got. I liked him tons at first, but now I am bored and over him. He is a decent actor. But... meh. I can see Ryan liking him because he is different looking and he has the whole Christian thingy.

So they brought back all of the contestants.. So.. yay..

"We're taking all 12 of you to the top of a 35 story skyscraper in downtown LA" and then we are going to push you off one by one until we have a winner. Just kidding. Robert Ulrich only said the first part. But I know they are afraid! Actually, if I were the insurance provider for the show, I would be afraid. These kids are not the most graceful.

Lindsay feels like a Beatle. Well, the camera sure seems to find her a lot during the video. And based on the video, you would think that Marisa was still in it to win it.

I have no idea who is going to win, and where the heck is Idina Menzel? The other guest mentors are there. Punk.

Damnometer! Lindsay nailed it! Holy smokes! And it was so fun to watch the faces of the "audience".

Ireland picked a good song, and he is charming as heck! But he can't even snap for himself in rhythm. But his eyebrows are going in full force.

Samuel is cocky, or insecure, or something, but it is really interfering with his likeability. He should be a shoo-in by singing Jolene, because it is such an awesome song. The crowd seemed to like him.

Alex is coming out as Mercedes. I like his wig.

Time to decide. I still lean towards Lindsay because I do believe singing and acting ability is important. Zach just said that Ireland could be an exchange student. I bet if they cast Alex, he would play the role of a cross-dressing student who gets outed, or something.

Ryan is wearing my hat. Samuel won? Meh. Ireland won, too. Hmm. They all won? Lame-o. They just did that so they can actually keep whoever turns out to actually be the best fit on the show.

The end.

Generosity

Generosity. I am lacking that today. Well, let's make a judgment call at the end of this diatribe, shall we? Just started the show and I already know that Ireland/Dancing Eyebrows is going home. He is the least talented singer of the bunch. Plus, his eyebrows are weird. (As am I. I have been typing with an Irish brogue... Also, drinking wine which makes typing ever so difficult.)

I think this show has a multitude of layers. I think that even if Lindsay doesn't win, her personality will take a shift to the better. As for dreadlocks (why do I suck so bad at names? Oh, like you'll remember who I am talking about in the future anyway...), his attitude is wicked annoying. I hate people who are so "oh, woe is me" until they have a modicum of success, then suddenly turn into entitled beyotches. Blech and boring. I think he needs some training. But the problem with our current reality television star churning machine is that they don't suffer the indignities of failure before success as most talented people do. (Like ME! In one day I went to four (4) auditions. I was told that I was too fat, too slim. Too ugly, too pretty. Too American, too European. Nose too big. Face too small. Whatever! Those are the things that make you strong! Failure!!! Mean people! Going home to wine (heh, I mean whine) to your cat about yet another role you did not land until you land the role. Then it is on, mutha brothers! ON! Or you chicken out and go to work as an assistant at a defence, er defense firm. (How did I get infected with the British bug?) No judgment. Just saying. People should have to work hard to get that level of success.

Where was I? Diatribe over. Suddenly I am exhausted. Oh, I have to watch this show.

I think Lindsay will win. She's pretty. She really can sing. She can act. If she can get past her sociopathism (is that a word? Ah, it is now.) then she will be great. Alex is the female version of Mercedes. Ireland is awful and Samuel is a close second but... he is a one trick pony. (sultry song glare...)

Yay. It's smiley boy time. Zach Woodlee is so cute. Shh. Lemme enjoy this...






Shhh...






Seriously... SHHHH...







Okay, Lindsay is still an arrogant cow. Knock it off. And Ireland thinks that shrugging his shoulders is akin to playing the drums. I cannot type the sound that I am making. But seriously, Zach is cute! Even when he says things like "I do need them to take this a bit more seriously, though. It is Glee we are talking about".

They seem to be losing control. It's like the inmates running the asylum. That said, they used Lindsay's audio most and she came across in the video well. So, I stand by her. BUT they just said Ryan and game changer, so maybe they will use all of these kids... Oh, no. That's not it. They all have to perform. Okay... That was sooooo unexpected.

The vocal coach chick (who is sooo pretty) really dislikes Lindsay. It practically oozes out of her. I applaud her ability to make Lindsay not notice. I wish they would assign Charlie Chaplin's "Smile". I love that song.

Is Ian Ryan Murphy's boyfriend?

Ireland needs botox injections in his forehead to settle those eyebrows down! Smeh. My personality, my arse. Time for you to go home. Okay, just kidding. He is charming. But, buh bye, now. I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!

Defying Gravity... Interesting choice for the girl they are attempting to get to change. "Something has changed within me." I think they are feeding her the win. Or they are trying to get her to quit on her own. ('Cause the song is about someone who bucks authority).

I dunno why, but Samuel has begun to annoy me. What is it? I think he is tedious. I think they all are, but maybe I just see something in Lindsay I can relate to (I too, am an insecure narcissist).

Whenever this show is over, I feel an urge to have an Itunes concert. "Isn't it grand? Isn't it great? Isn't it swell?"

Seriously!?! Ireland is staying? They're all staying? What's the point of that? Wimpy judges.

(Don't judge me as I am a little weepy for them. I am such a sap. Ugh)

Sexuality

I believe it is time for another rousing edition of Bug reacts to The Glee Project. After last week's devastating release of my personal favorite Marissa, I'm not sure who I am rooting for anymore. This episode ought to help push someone into my favor. Meanwhile, I will drink wine and eat Ruffles Molten Hot Wings potato chips. (Feel free to send me new flavors to test out, or reward my mention of your product with All Dressed chips which I know can be found in America's hat*.)

This week's topic is sexuality. I think Marissa would have been great on this. And poor Ireland's head would have exploded. By the way, why is he still on the show? I said good day, sir (in a poor Irish accent).

 I am afraid for my eyes during the homework assignment as these kids try to rape the guest from the stage every week. The Horror! Plus the nerdy seriel killer looking kid always does the same spastic dance which the show runners seem to think is spectacular and I think is an indicator of an imminent brain aneurism. I wonder how he will insert it into today's show. Maybe they should do a show called subtlety. THAT is something they could stand to learn. Hmm, they used the voyeuristic version of sexuality. They kept looking at Puck and Zizes and the casting guy as if they were expecting them to join in, perhaps?

Ugh! You have a girlfriend. We get it. Now, I am a big fan that he is loyal and true to her, but dude, you are an actor. You are acting. Sheesh. I think she will be okay with that and if not, you are going to have to give up one or the other. Ha! Ireland just said that he didn't think the scenes would be too sexual as it is Glee! Um, are we watching the same show?

The video: Teenage Dream - Katy Perry. Um, I thought the food in the kitchen was a little on the nose with Hannah. I'm sorry, but...
They cut so much that it never really went anywhere, for me. They stayed on Lindsay and Ireland the most, which made sense because they where the only ones that seemed to get the idea for the video. I didn't think the kitchen couple was flirting and Samuel seems to be a decent actor, but Alex not so much.  That was my least favorite video of them all.

My guess for bottom three: Alex, Cameron, Lindsay. I pick Lindsay because of her vocal limitations per Nikki. Cameron mostly because I don't really like him and he won't do what a director asks of him.

I don't know if I wrote this in my last post, but I think the kids who get to perform in front of Ryan are lucky. Even though they are called bottom 3 and have the possibility of going home, Ryan gets to know them and see if he can write for them. I think he is way more likely to cast someone he knows he can write for.

Hmm, I was wrong on Lindsay. The bottom three are whining about being in the bottom. Suck it up, honeys. The acting life is a tough one, full of nos and negative things.

I kind of love Alex. He is super queenie, which could go awry in my ever so humble opinion. Yet, he has something that I am thoroughly charmed by. I hope he can channel his feelings into being a better actor. If he could just tap into his vulnerable side, he could win.

I love how very supportive Robert and Zach are when these kids sing in the bottom three. They have proud papa looks on their faces and clap vociferously.

Oh, is Cameron quitting? I think that they might let him go, but Ryan's desire to write for a Christian kid overrides his ability to see that Cameron would not be a good choice to win. He is too young. Maybe in a couple of years after this girlfriend has promised to save herself for their wedding day, and winds up pregnant with twins from her Algebra tutor, who happens to be Cameron's arch nemesis, and twin brother, and he vows to sleep with all of her friends to get back at her, will he be able to be on Glee.

See?

Haha. Ryan said he was sad because he felt that Cameron could have touched so many people. Isn't that why Cameron is leaving? He doesn't want to touch all of those people. And man! Ireland is like a cat. 9 lives. Always landing on his feet. But Cameron is a jerk for saying that he saved Ireland.

Cameron has to go tend to the bodies in his basement. ***


*I am just teasing!** I love Canada and everything it has to stand for. I am exceptionally grateful for the fantastic game Balderdash that hails from the Great White North. So no politely phrased hate mail, please.
**I am not, however,teasing about sending me these chips. Pleaseandthankyou.
***or crawl space. How would I know? He didn't talk about it on the show. 

Pairability

I am really into this show. I have to say that I am a proud "Gleek" Britney episode notwithstanding. (Though I did watch that episode again recently and did not hate it as much as I did the first time I saw it. Yep, drank the koolaid, I did.)

So they have culled the show of many of the people I thought were not meant to win. But every week we get to know these kids a little better and it makes it harder (or easier) to see them leave.

My current favorite is Marissa. She has been a solid, but quiet contender. As she is finding more success, we are seeing her sexy, booty poppin' side. I hope she can maintain herself so that her lips don't suddenly turn fuchsia. (That's an Emily reference, who went home in episode 2).

So they are doing duets this week. Awesome. They paired Ireland with Matheus. They sang The Lady is Tramp. (Which according to my mom, the song is about me). Their video was cute, but those two are hams and overacted their way to the end. Thank God the singing coach couched Matheus "rocker screams". Ugh, so don't need to hear that crap anymore. As for Ireland, I'm just not a fan. I don't know what it is about him, but no. He gives creepy looks, and sings like he's being muted. Just weird. Sorry.

They paired Hannah and Alex. I like her and I glad they taught Alex some humility last week, because he was on a train to divaville.

Ooh, I love the choreographers. She just told Hannah that everyone is sexy. Which, YES! So true. You just have to own it, baby. Find your sexy.

So Hannah and Alex are singing "Nowadays", a Broadway tune from Chicago, which was sung by two women. Oh no! They actually dressed Alex in drag? And what is that wig on Hannah's head? They are really forcing her to dig deep for the sexy. Sheesh! Alex looks good as a woman, and Hannah looks pretty, save for that wig... They bring a lot of sass, but not enough energy.

So now we get to see the video for "Don't You Want Me Baby" with Marissa and Samuel. The two frontrunners, if it were up to me. Crap, that's a hot video, and when she kisses him at the end, he dives in for more. She is a good actress. She gives a lot without doing too much. I really like her.

Finally we have Lindsay and Cameron. He is a little weird to me. He seems to be hiding a lot? I dunno. He makes me uncomfortable. And she is soooo cocky. Which is a shame, because she can back it up with talent and looks, but no one wants to be around that. Uh oh. She just felt the challenge of oomphing it up after seeing Marissa kiss Samuel. I see backfire coming? Let's see what happens. Oh, cute!! It was a cute video. She really is talented. He's pretty good, too. And then she lays one on him. It worked for me. Cameron has to go to confession, now. Wow, he is feeling serious guilt for Lindsay giving him an acting kiss. And my ex had no problem having a harem of women to do more than kiss. Interesting. But back to Cameron. He wants to be an actor? What's the plan? To have a lip double?

Okay, my bottom three would be Matheus, Ireland (what is that boy's real name??), and Hannah. I pick Hannah because she was overshadowed by Alex in the video. Let's have the real bottom three revealed: Oh, that's a game changer for sure! (Why is the choreography boy so cute?) Before watching them sing, I think Matheus is going home.

Hannah and Alex singing Valerie. They are sooo cute. I want more of them!!!!

Matheus and Ireland sing These Boots are Made for Walking. They worked well together but don't want more of them. And why does Matheus always wear his shirt unbuttoned to the naval?

I am officially a fan of Ryan Murphy. One, he tells Matheus not to listen to divas who will always try to bring you down. Then he calls Cameron out for getting kissed, crying, and then calling his mother. I like that he calls people out on their crap right away. It is intimidating, but at least you always know where you stand, right? So, are they going to have to do a final bottom three in addition to the duets?

Okay, off on my bottom three, though Matheus is going home. That I am sure of. But I love that they are teaching them how to be better actors, better people.

Top 12

Time to check in on the dancers. I am not as in to this season as I would like to be. There is no one that is really compelling to invest in. As much as I love MM, she doesn't quite possess as much personality as I expected her to when I first saw her audition. I still like her a lot. She could win. As for Ryan, she is definitely missing something intangible that is vital to being an exciting dancer. Marci made a comment about her using her arms weirdly, or not extending them enough. It's true, they somehow seem to have the tensile strength of a cooked noodle. I'm ready for her to go. She's been in the bottom 3 consistently and the judges keep saving her.
The boys are pretty great this time, but they don't have the fire I am looking for either. The boy who could be Harry Shum, Jr.'s (of Glee) little brother always looks like he is about to cry and that makes me angry for some reason. (I don't seem to possess too much maternal instinct). They should utilize his sad face and make him do a pierrot dance.
Caitlynn overacts too much for me to like her a lot. She's always indicating to the audience. I think she is a fabulous dancer, but she seems more fit for a cruise ship, than as a key dancer because she doesn't ever become the dance. She is always performing it. I do appreciate Nigel not wanting to comment on her sexiness because he is afraid it will label him as a dirty old man. (TOO LATE!)
Mary Murphy and her teeth are back this season and I have already blown out six speakers. She does seem a little tougher this time around. And they are using Sonya more, which I adore. She is really intelligent and I like what she has to say.
Speaking of judges, I am loving guest judges. Yay for Kristin Chenoweth and the randomness of Jesse Tyler Ferguson. I get Kristin, but is Jesse a dancer? A Broadway guy? Or is he just a dance appreciator? Whatever, I liked having him there.
I think I am cranky because this is a pretty harsh review. Forgive me. I can be more funny later.

The elimination show:
Kat was nominated for an Emmy! That's very appropriate and I hope she wins. She makes the show. (8 noms for the whole show).

Okay, I love the little shorts and the saucy outfits that the dancers wear. But what the heck is Clarisse wearing? She looks like one of the girls I saw on 14th St. one night. Yikes.

Okay, what do they have to say to the girls? As we know, I think it is time for Ryan to go. I have a feeling the judges will agree. Yup. Good choice. Let's look at the boys.

I have no idea which will be sent home. I think it may be Alexander... and I am right.

I just need a really awesomely choregraphed dance to get back into the show. Bring Mia Michaels back.

Season 8. Episode 1

I love watching these kids dance. It makes me think I can fly through the air, legs and arms spread akimbo. (Which is sadly disproved when I crash into walls, and or wrench my ankle in my attempts). 

I have seen two auditions and I have already picked my winner. Melanie Moore is gorgeous. She has a bit of a Ginnifer Goodwin thing going for her. I cannot wait to see her in Mandy Moore or Mia Michaels choreography. (MM all the way). 

The rest of the show seems to be the usual compilation of talent vs. wanting to be seen. One fella, calling himself "White Chocolate" further proves my point that white chocolate is just a wad of fatty tastelessness. (Okay, that's a bit extreme, but C'MON!) 

Amber Williams is a little firecracker. She is in fierce competition with Melanie to be my favorite, though her wack-doodleness may become a little annoying. I hope she balances it out. (Sheesh, do I sound like an old lady, or what?) I have to say that when she takes the commentary from the judges, she is very polite. So. YES!

And finally, it's good to see Mia Michaels' protege back. I can't remember her name, but she's a great dancer.

Okay, I am already a little bored. The auditions go on far too long. Let's just get to the dancing.

More singing teenagers.

I saw that my girlfriend Idina Menzel was going to be the guest person on the second episode of the Glee Project and thought, wait, they haven't aired the second episode yet? So I tracked down the first one, starring the cute Darren Criss to quietly judge in preparation for my girl.

Keeping in mind that it is a reality show about teen/20-somethings, I have a low bar. At the same time, we are dealing with kids singing! and dancing! Yes, please!

They sing a group song (Signed, sealed, delivered) to Darren. He has the appropriate facial reactions that one would have when people are overacting their little hearts out. Why do all the kids wink at me? It's unnerving. Also, the heavy metal shriek, aka the Adam Lambert, must stop. Ugh. "Wow" she says derisively, "You sure do have range...". But they can sing. Let's see where this goes.

Okay, not having seen much yet, I am ready to lay the judgment down. There is the fuchsia lipped girl who tries to verbally rape Darren and then proceeds to lay her sad little slutty mark down everywhere she goes. When asked what her yearbook superlative would be, she says "to be the best swimsuit model that I could be". She then follows that up with a direct to camera "I hope I get to wear a bikini". What is she trying to prove? Boring. 

Then there is the girl who thinks she looks really young, and when confused for a boy, she does look like an extra from Oliver Twist. She complains about looking young and then proceeds to talk in a baby voice. Being someone who looks much younger than they are and not being a huge fan of it, this is further proof that looking young messes with people's heads. So stop saying it is so great to look young, unless you do and you know what the heck you are talking about. 

Okay, the video was super cute, and I am starting to like these kids. I hope fuchsia lips calm down, and that pretty little "classically trained soprano" doesn't get her head so bloated that she is unable to fit into the studio. I find that Ireland has little to no personality and that child-girl needs to get out of her own way. The other guy in the bottom three has made no impact on me either, but I feel like he will self-direct himself home, if he is not careful. The other pretty girl reminds me so much of someone and I just can't place her.

Ireland sings Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl". He sings it in a new and improved way. He sings "I wish that I was Jessie's girl". He is committed to the notion and afterwards Ryan Murphy calls him out on it. Oops.

The other guy seems old. So he could be one of the football players.

The little girl one needs to stop seeing herself that way so that she can get ahead. Not just here, but in life.

Okay, they posted the list. I want to put my guess down for who they are sending home...
I think Ireland is in because his foible was charming. I think that other guy is out simply because he was attitudey to the cute dancey guy.

The one being sent home is:
Bryce (the other guy)

Damn, I am good. I would be a good casting agent. (Hire me to cast your project!)