Wednesday, September 29, 2010

It's Brittany......Bitch.

I love Britney Spears. I love Glee. I do not love the two together. Wow. This was maybe the worst episode. The writing was heavy handed. Will Schuster is uptight. You know how I know? Because they told me 7000 times. I dunno if he is uptight, but after that little performance to "Sailing", I am thoroughly convinced that he is a super dweeb.

The songs seemed like karaoke. Bad karaoke. Let's break down the musical numbers, shall we?

1. Brittany sings "I'm a slave 4 U". Turns out she has a pretty good voice. She sings it a little slow, but it's good enough. I am glad for this sequence because we got to safely ogle her ridiculous body. Damn, I need to get to the gym. But the dancing was frenetic. The girl is a dancer. Couldn't they have choreographed a little better? And what was with her dancing with children whilst in the red pleather ensemble from "Oops, I did it again". Very confusing and distressing.

2. Brittany and Santana sing "Me against the Music". I was concerned with Santana's use of that cane and the fact that she thrust her crotch into the face of a disinterested boy. She's creepy just like Madonna was in the original video. I do love her voice and the relationship between her and Brittany. Brittany does do the whole tongue hyper-extended over her front teeth to lip sync "t"s. Question: why is Brittany's hair so dirty looking? I thought Britney did not get all white trashy until she met K-Fed. Oh, who am I kidding...
Britney shows up at the end of this song sequence and she looks old. Old. And, well, old.

3. Rachel sings "Hit Me Baby One More Time". They made it higher for her and she sang it. I mean that she made it all singy, and not cool. Like she is trying way too hard. Like a pageant kid. She also does the over-lip-synching.

4. Artie sings "Stronger". Baybay... Britney appears in a cheerios uniform at the onset of this song. She needs to fire her hair stylist. Her extensions look sooo crappy. Unless she puts them in herself. (Remember that Matt Lauer interview). This was sung fairly well, but smeh... Bored.

5. New Directions sing "Toxic". I love that they are finally letting Brittany sing. The kids in the audience flip out then proceed to have a massive group masturbation orgy. Very distressing. Very, very distressing.  And why did Kurt place two hats over Mercedes' boobs? That was odd. Very odd. Then the massive freak out for the fire alarm going off? My school had two fire alarms in the last week and neither time did anyone rush out of the building. In fact, we contemplated staying. (We're fierce like that).

Rachel wears a revamped version of Britney's ensemble from "Hit Me". It does not look too different from what she normally wears. This show is confusing me.

The comments the kids make as they come out of anesthesia are pretty awesome.
Brittany "Are you a cat?" "I pet a snake"
Rachel "Is this real life" (Nice nod to David after dentist)

Why is Will so against Britney? And why is he so into Christopher Cross? That did not make any sense. Then they slid in an awesome Paramore song? Huh? How does Hayley Williams tie in to Britney? Also, she sang it wrong. Just one word, but still bugged me. But she sang it really well.

So, this episode was suckily written, but I learned that Britney makes you cool.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Raising Hope Pilot

Raising Princess Beyoncé Hope.

Wow, so much happens in the first ten minutes of this show. It's tightly written and kept me engaged.


It's a shame they kill off the baby momma so quickly because the girl who plays her is super cute.

I love Martha Plimpton and I am so glad to see her in something again. She was briefly on a couple of episodes of "The Good Wife" and was great. I am glad she gets a meatier role. And she gets to say things like "dramastically".

They nail the poor white people family. (I try not to use white trash, because it is so very derogatory, but were I to use it in the colloquial sense, it would fit here.)

I think this show is so wrong, it's right and hopefully will continue with the "Omigosh, they didn't" type of chuckles.

SNL Katy Perry (Host-Amy Poehler)

Katy Perry is a beautiful girl. I have not figured out why she is so desperate to be a cartoon. She sang "California Gurls" to a New York crowd, and seemed surprised when they did not respond to her "Come on" (and sing California gurls).

She did not sound bad. She started a little wobbly, but she figured out pretty quickly that she could stop singing the whoa-oh-oh- parts and leave that to the recording she was singing along to. In short, she sounded like I do when I sing along to the radio, except a little better.

She sounded great on the Teenage Dream song. (I love that song). I was prepared to say that she does not have a great voice, but she sang the hell out of the Boogerman song.

This entry took a turn. I was all, whatever Katy Perry, when I started. But she was cute. And I love how she poked fun at the Elmo debacle by wearing his face stretched across her massive boobs.
Well played, Perry.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Mid-September madness

Joel McHale always wears this skinny ties. I was thinking he was just a super big Mad Men fan. But I just saw him standing next to Patrick Warburton, whom I have always thought is the tallest man on TV (wait, what about Raymond's brother from Everyone Loves Raymond maybe he is actual tallest), and Joel is a good inch or so taller than him. Maybe the ties are normal size, but they just look skinny on him.

So Paris Hilton is not welcome in Japan anymore... Anyone fancy a trip to Tokyo?

Friday, September 24, 2010

Back to School

The Middle! I kind of love this show. I think I may even like it better than Modern Family. Scandalous thinking on my part, I know. I love the family dynamics here. I love the weirdness. I love Sue's optimism, Brick's bookishness (bookishness), and well, I think Axel wandering about in his boxers is unnerving. But you can't win them all. Let's see what the Hecks are up to.

When I was little school always started on or around my mom's birthday, which she considered to be the best birthday gift. I never understood. Wasn't she sad that her baby was leaving her?

The show opens on the end of summer and the madness that is the first day of school when you are the parents of three kids.

Ha! Sue's middle name is Sue. That's great.

This is another show that uses voiceover. Here, however, it works as we are in Frankie Heck's head as she lives her life as a mom. I feel like she is how I would be if I could ever roofie someone long enough to marry me and help me bear their children. Or maybe I just relate because I think I was (still am?) Sue Sue Heck. She gets to be in on the all inclusive Cross Country team. She wears her new team sweatshirt all the time, even though it is way too hot. I would do that.

As for Frankie (the mom), she opts to try to get ahead of problems. This leads to mayhem. I would do this and this would happen. Sigh.

This is a great show. Watch it.


I am not thrilled about watching this new comedy "Running Wilde". It just looks kind of stupid to me. I hate how they got all clever to name the kid "Puddle". The fact that the show is being told from this kids point of view is an interesting convention, but not one I am certain of thinking highly of.

I really love Will Arnett, but I feel like he needs a talented cast around him to keep his characters from becoming too over the top, or just simply too much. I like Keri Russell, but... well... I really don't have anything to say about her. I did love Waitress.

I would not even be watching the pilot if it were not for it being on right after Raising Hope which is another one I am on the fence on (leaning a bit more towards like than not, though). So here goes. I am gonna watch this show and then we can can discuss if I have changed my opinion.

Already we start with a voiceover... Ugh. It's a bit heavy-handed being told the story from the girl who does not talk. I have to admit that I lost interest pretty quickly and opted to wash my cat's water bowl instead. When I came back, there were natives in a pool.

I dunno about this show. It's not very sophisticated. I hate that networks think that American viewers are stupid. There is a sweetness between the two leads, but I am not thinking I will be back to see how they progress.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Town

Wow. This movie was non-stop action. It was violent. It was fast-paced. It was so much more.

This was an incredibly well written film. The stress level is flying off the roof, and they manage to bring a line in that makes you laugh and still stay true to the storyline and the characters. None of the characters are left hanging. In other words, everyone we meet is important and their story is completed, at least enough for us viewers to be satisfied.

Ben Affleck does a gorgeous job directing. He goes from a super saturated look, to black and white. Intense noise to dead silence. He uses these conventions carefully to create an extremely compelling film.

It's a Boston film, but not a Bahston film. The accents (save for maybe Blake Lively's) are not painfully noticeable. It just happened to take place in Boston.

Great story. Great film. Go see it. (Ben Affleck is getting sexier with age).

"Patricia Field"

It's episode three of America's Next Top Model, season 15, I think. So, ostensibly we should have 14 current supermodels thanks to Tyra and her band of merry men. Alas... So Tyra is mixing it up Italian Vogue this season and reaching for the heights of TOP model. This is great as Tyra is so clever and never gets clichéd.
Par example:
2st episode: Catwalk for fashion show was several stories off the ground. (That's soo top model!)
3rd episode: Girls are fallen angels and are strapped into a harness.

Dear Tyra, you don't have to be so literal.

There is one girl, Rhianna, who looks like a leprechaun.

But I want to talk about Anamaria. She was kicked off last week. This child stated that she is on a severe calorie restricted diet. She likes how she looks and works hard to stay so slim. Then she added that her mum wants her to gain some weight. At her photo shoot, she looked like an Auschwitz survivor. I took this picture off of the TV which does not show how very scary skinny she is.
You could see her pelvic bone. Her elbows are bigger than her arms. She's 5'10" and weighs about 110. Gross. During her elimination Tyra tells her that she is very slender and that is not good for modeling. She goes on to say that Anamaria could be the most healthy girl, and other lame ass platitudes that make it okay for Anamaria to continue on her self destructive path.

This little girl is going to starve herself to death. And Tyra had an opportunity to do something about it. Tyra had a chance to take a firm stance against anorexia and did not take it. Unacceptable.