Wednesday, September 29, 2010

It's Brittany......Bitch.

I love Britney Spears. I love Glee. I do not love the two together. Wow. This was maybe the worst episode. The writing was heavy handed. Will Schuster is uptight. You know how I know? Because they told me 7000 times. I dunno if he is uptight, but after that little performance to "Sailing", I am thoroughly convinced that he is a super dweeb.

The songs seemed like karaoke. Bad karaoke. Let's break down the musical numbers, shall we?

1. Brittany sings "I'm a slave 4 U". Turns out she has a pretty good voice. She sings it a little slow, but it's good enough. I am glad for this sequence because we got to safely ogle her ridiculous body. Damn, I need to get to the gym. But the dancing was frenetic. The girl is a dancer. Couldn't they have choreographed a little better? And what was with her dancing with children whilst in the red pleather ensemble from "Oops, I did it again". Very confusing and distressing.

2. Brittany and Santana sing "Me against the Music". I was concerned with Santana's use of that cane and the fact that she thrust her crotch into the face of a disinterested boy. She's creepy just like Madonna was in the original video. I do love her voice and the relationship between her and Brittany. Brittany does do the whole tongue hyper-extended over her front teeth to lip sync "t"s. Question: why is Brittany's hair so dirty looking? I thought Britney did not get all white trashy until she met K-Fed. Oh, who am I kidding...
Britney shows up at the end of this song sequence and she looks old. Old. And, well, old.

3. Rachel sings "Hit Me Baby One More Time". They made it higher for her and she sang it. I mean that she made it all singy, and not cool. Like she is trying way too hard. Like a pageant kid. She also does the over-lip-synching.

4. Artie sings "Stronger". Baybay... Britney appears in a cheerios uniform at the onset of this song. She needs to fire her hair stylist. Her extensions look sooo crappy. Unless she puts them in herself. (Remember that Matt Lauer interview). This was sung fairly well, but smeh... Bored.

5. New Directions sing "Toxic". I love that they are finally letting Brittany sing. The kids in the audience flip out then proceed to have a massive group masturbation orgy. Very distressing. Very, very distressing.  And why did Kurt place two hats over Mercedes' boobs? That was odd. Very odd. Then the massive freak out for the fire alarm going off? My school had two fire alarms in the last week and neither time did anyone rush out of the building. In fact, we contemplated staying. (We're fierce like that).

Rachel wears a revamped version of Britney's ensemble from "Hit Me". It does not look too different from what she normally wears. This show is confusing me.

The comments the kids make as they come out of anesthesia are pretty awesome.
Brittany "Are you a cat?" "I pet a snake"
Rachel "Is this real life" (Nice nod to David after dentist)

Why is Will so against Britney? And why is he so into Christopher Cross? That did not make any sense. Then they slid in an awesome Paramore song? Huh? How does Hayley Williams tie in to Britney? Also, she sang it wrong. Just one word, but still bugged me. But she sang it really well.

So, this episode was suckily written, but I learned that Britney makes you cool.

No comments: