Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Letter to New Amsterdam creators:

Okay, you guys tricked me. I thought this show would suck based on the pilot, but you redeemed yourselves in the second episode. We learned that the man is indeed fertile, yet a doting father, keeping his aging kin around him to do stuff for him. I think I would do the same. Still, I am worried that maybe some of his children were born without his knowledge and as it seems he has been in NYC forever, how could he not have "run into" one? (Forgive my crassness). John Amsterdam is growing on me. Suddenly he is handsome. (This always takes me a while to decide). But he is. And the actor is Danish. Did not expect that! I still think this is a fairly unattractive cast, but maybe I am starting to appreciate it? (Say it ain't so! I am okay with my shallowness).
I'm sold. Bring it on. But don't make it stupid. And stop showing me those Native American women who say he won't die. I get it. Boring.

"Where's the Beef?"

Dominique looks like a bit like Lisa D'Amato from Cycle 5.

Fatima has some issues. She is such a bitch. Ugh, I no likey. She is worse than the crappy "supermodels" of the 90's. Amis skipped..? Are these people just here for their 15 minutes of fame?

This is the cattiest group of people I have ever seen. I have that shirt, the one that Melvita has on. It looks better on her. Sigh. Ha! Dominique just called Whitney white trash. Hey kettle. I generally like the drama, but this is a bit much.

I feel like Claire is going to win this whole thing. But if Lauren can learn how to walk, she really has a great look.

Aimee does not like to get naked in front of others. Being a model is being naked all the time. Slipping in and out of clothes blackstage means nudity.

Oh, Fatima is going home. And Claire won the runway, I think. Nope. Katarzyna. Meanwhile, all the girls are talking about what Jaslene said to them (Amis: She said something really important to me, wait I forget what she said exactly.) I think her comments will inspire Lauren to get help with her walk.

Um, are they trying to say that Jay Manuel is a hunk of beef? Questionable. This is disgusting. Whose idea was this? Oh, Amis is going home. She is so bizarre. I want to like her, but she is throwing this chance away. Hey, she is being seen by a ton of people. Maybe this is her foray into acting? Damn, though, I thought Fatima would go.

Why is Tyra singing? What's going on? Tyra is commenting on how great everyone looks. I think she is setting Amis up for a massive roasting! But I love her (Amis) picture.

Anya looks like an old Jewish Polish man.

My picks:
Bottom two: Amis and Fatima.

Going home: Fatima.

Call order:

Bottom 2:
Fatima and Amis
Going home:
I kind of want Fatima to stay for the drama. And she is.
Goodbye Amis. You can go back to being Amy. Best wishes on the comedy circuit.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

The Makeover Show

Makeover show!

Omigod, I am so excited. I am seriously missing me some Marci right now. I don’t like watching this show without her. But on to making these girls look better/different.

I didn’t know that girls from Wisconsin could be so bitchy. Oh my damn! The female circumcision girl just called the Wisconsin girl BIG. Fatima is a mega-bitch. My goodness!

Ooh, they are going to go on a high fashion shopping spree at Walmart. Nice. Has anyone ever checked out the Walmart in Alexandria? Scary! No thanks. The one in Colorado is super awesome and I would shop there any day of the week.

Does the guy from Cover Girl look like Sean Hayes who played Jack on Will & Grace? He does. Take my word for it.

Why is a piece of Claire’s head shaved? She does not strike me as a punk.

Whoa, Allison is not attractive when she has no makeup on. But Fatima annoys me. I hate people like her who drop the biggest bombs on people and then act like it is your fault they said the most horrific thing possible.

Get on with the makeovers already! I wonder if they can de-ghetto-fy Dominique. I would not be a success on this show, because I can simply not bring myself to cheer and clap every time something happens. Wooo Tyra! Woo scissors! Woo lint! No.

Oh no. They made Anya look like a 65 year old Jewish man with long hair. Marvita and Lauren look pretty! I dig Claire’s platinum. Nice. Gag. Fatima is whining about her weave. Shut it. But damn if she doesn’t look beautiful. Allison looks like a girl on Beverly Hills 90210. No, Allison looks like Isla Fisher. Dominique has a bit of Amanda Peet in her. She still looks like a dude.

Who do I think will go home? I have no idea!
Bottom two:

I dunno. No call for who is going home.
Damn! Called the bottom three! Woo!
Down to Allison and Dominique.

Bye Allison. Maybe this will teach her some humility. Based on her goodbye hug with Tyra, don’t think so.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

New Amsterdam Pilot

I have been looking forward to this show. They started promoting it last summer. So it had better be good because I know an attorney and am feeling litigious.

Starts off with a “Grey’s Anatomy” voiceover, dead people, sexy time, and a violent dream. Okay! Let’s go!

Why do immortal people always wear long black trench coats?

I’ll bet this guy can’t use email. He is still using one of the first cameras! My old boss was in his 50’s and he could not email. (Hell, we were lucky he could turn his computer on). This guy is 100s of years old. I’m gonna bet he can’t send an email.

Ew. He touched blood with his bare finger. Remember becoming blood brother/sisters with your best friend? You’d both prick a finger and the hold them together as your bond with them was made thicker than mud. Who was that I become blood sisters with…?

He can’t die until he finds “the one” and their souls are wed. I feel like I have that curse, too. My mom thinks I will find my true love in the nursing home. Super.

The people on this show are too normal looking. Where are the abnormally stunning medical professionals or confusingly gorgeous medical examiner? (I am not warped by television casting). Yikes, even the bartender has lost the genetic lottery. Some people are going to love this. Not me. I like to live temporarily in a world where even the homeless people are hot.

So far, I think I like “Woman’s Murder Club” better. (I think that WMC was cancelled. Bastards). I also liked Journeyman, but I think they cancelled that too. I am mad about that especially because I wanted to see if I could get used to the fact that the lead character “Dan” sounds just like Alan Alda.

I wonder if this guy is fertile. If so, how many little Amsterdams are running through the world? And do his great grandchildren have grandchildren by now? Has he accidentally had a “run-in” with one of his offspring?

The show had a cool photo montage of Times Square. I believe it was the Gridiron Building.

This show has no real emotion. It does not pull me in. They had an opportunity to delve into Amsterdam’s emotions with the old woman recognizing him, but they mostly brushed it off. It’s like they want us to think there is a ton under the surface, but refuse to do anything to prove it. So we are stuck with an empty shell of a show, where the shell is not even that attractive. I am not sold.