Dance With Somebody

Hello my darlings. It has been a while since I have live-blogged a Glee episode. I sat down to watch the latest, the Whitney episode, and it opened on Mercedes staring at a framed picture of Whitney Houston while singing about a boy. I thought, Yup! This one is ripe for live-blogging.

Let me start by saying that Glee has slowly been losing it's glimmer. It's tarnishing, if you will, right before my eyes, and I don't like it one bit! I'm bored. I used to cry. Now I play words with friends. What happened to Shelby? What kind of crap-ass storyline was that? Waste of good talent. Sorry, Idina. AND what the heck was up with Rachel's dads. One was supposed to be black. He was incredibly black in season one when we saw pictures of the two men together. Bah. Lame.

Okay, so let's get to the show. Why is she singing to a picture of Whitney? Why does she have a framed 8x10 of Whitney at school? Why is she so consternated? She's singing about a crush. Oh, my bad. It's a 5x7. Don't hold my inability to quickly gauge photo size against me. They have a shrine to Whitney? They certainly are setting this show up to be a barn burner. I sure hope they answer all of these pressing questions throughout the show. (Oh, and Santana looks vaguely like she's gonna puke.)

Oh, Glee.  You could have picked a better song to open with if you were gonna be that melodramatic about it.

Has it always been this way, or are they really promoting over-acting? Oh, and who sings for Brittany?

Ok, I feel like I'm being awfully negative so, some positives: I like Brittany & Santana's relationship. I like Santana's voice. I like that the show only seems to air once a month. Oh no. Sorry, there I go again.  But seriously who changed? The show? or the way I watch it?

Hahaha. The guy's name is pronounced Lah-vendor. It's a family name. Classic!

There actually was a pretty good throw away joke from Brittany. Talking about the dreadhead, she said, "yeah, Joe is pretty, but I heard she doesn't shave her pits."

I love Kurt's dad. He's a real character on this show of (say this next part with a trill) draaaama queens. 
Aw dammit, Kurt. Ya got me. I got a little teary during his rendition of "I have nothing", even though I passionately abhor falsetto. Yeah, he lost me towards the end of the song when he got super high pitchy, but the beginning was nice.

....

zzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzz
zzz, ewhah? (clears throat)
Sorry. Must have dozed off there for a second. I'm back.

Oh seriously? Schuester wants to get married soon so that his age inappropriate, not to mention otherwise inappropriate, friends can come to the wedding? This show is actually kind of sad.

Ew gross! Joe poked Quinn. But wait, isn't she paralyzed? How would she have felt that...?

Why are they all hugging? Didn't they just spend the whole day going to classes together? Teenagers! Bah. Just kiddding. I just am soo old I forget what HS is like. I think I can recall being rather dramatic.

Also, can we end the word adorkable? (New Girl)

Television's biggest star

It seems that the biggest star on TV is the baby (well, generally babies) who plays little Beth on Glee. I just saw that she also plays the Scavo baby on Desperate Housewives. Is it wrong to be jealous of someone who can't even walk yet?

"Never Been Kissed"

Holy smokes, that boy from the Warblers is soooo cute. Good for Kurt for standing up to the meathead. Whoa! Should've seen THAT coming. But I didn't. I was too busy cheering Kurt on.

Poor Bieste. I want them to be nice to her. Though her in a tutu en pointe at the barre with the cigar was a fairly priceless image I don't want to leave my imagination for a long time. Why did Schuester tell her what the kids are doing with her image? I swear, he gets more and more dumb each episode.

Holy crap. Bieste is 40!?! I'm almost 40. My friend Jen is 40. There is a HUGE disparity in the way we look. AND Schuester will kiss anyone.

Have the Glee writers lost interest in Rachel? She spoke 55 words and she mouthed "okay" once. She was in 4 scenes, including the song which she sang. And yeah, I counted. What? It's who I am.
I mean, I get it. Her story arc was covered last season. But she looks HOT and makes me wanna cut bangs again. (That paragraph had 60 words in it, until I started typing this sentence...)



I want a confetti cannon.

It's Brittany......Bitch.

I love Britney Spears. I love Glee. I do not love the two together. Wow. This was maybe the worst episode. The writing was heavy handed. Will Schuster is uptight. You know how I know? Because they told me 7000 times. I dunno if he is uptight, but after that little performance to "Sailing", I am thoroughly convinced that he is a super dweeb.

The songs seemed like karaoke. Bad karaoke. Let's break down the musical numbers, shall we?

1. Brittany sings "I'm a slave 4 U". Turns out she has a pretty good voice. She sings it a little slow, but it's good enough. I am glad for this sequence because we got to safely ogle her ridiculous body. Damn, I need to get to the gym. But the dancing was frenetic. The girl is a dancer. Couldn't they have choreographed a little better? And what was with her dancing with children whilst in the red pleather ensemble from "Oops, I did it again". Very confusing and distressing.

2. Brittany and Santana sing "Me against the Music". I was concerned with Santana's use of that cane and the fact that she thrust her crotch into the face of a disinterested boy. She's creepy just like Madonna was in the original video. I do love her voice and the relationship between her and Brittany. Brittany does do the whole tongue hyper-extended over her front teeth to lip sync "t"s. Question: why is Brittany's hair so dirty looking? I thought Britney did not get all white trashy until she met K-Fed. Oh, who am I kidding...
Britney shows up at the end of this song sequence and she looks old. Old. And, well, old.

3. Rachel sings "Hit Me Baby One More Time". They made it higher for her and she sang it. I mean that she made it all singy, and not cool. Like she is trying way too hard. Like a pageant kid. She also does the over-lip-synching.

4. Artie sings "Stronger". Baybay... Britney appears in a cheerios uniform at the onset of this song. She needs to fire her hair stylist. Her extensions look sooo crappy. Unless she puts them in herself. (Remember that Matt Lauer interview). This was sung fairly well, but smeh... Bored.

5. New Directions sing "Toxic". I love that they are finally letting Brittany sing. The kids in the audience flip out then proceed to have a massive group masturbation orgy. Very distressing. Very, very distressing.  And why did Kurt place two hats over Mercedes' boobs? That was odd. Very odd. Then the massive freak out for the fire alarm going off? My school had two fire alarms in the last week and neither time did anyone rush out of the building. In fact, we contemplated staying. (We're fierce like that).

Rachel wears a revamped version of Britney's ensemble from "Hit Me". It does not look too different from what she normally wears. This show is confusing me.

The comments the kids make as they come out of anesthesia are pretty awesome.
Brittany "Are you a cat?" "I pet a snake"
Rachel "Is this real life" (Nice nod to David after dentist)

Why is Will so against Britney? And why is he so into Christopher Cross? That did not make any sense. Then they slid in an awesome Paramore song? Huh? How does Hayley Williams tie in to Britney? Also, she sang it wrong. Just one word, but still bugged me. But she sang it really well.

So, this episode was suckily written, but I learned that Britney makes you cool.

She is a dream girl

Mercedes Jones, played by Amber Riley, sang "And I am Telling You" wayyyyyy better on Glee tonight than Jennifer Hudson did in Screamgirls. I think JenHud should give her Academy Award to Amber Riley. And then she should go away for ever.

See, Jennifer? You CAN sing without screaming! Yay.