Thursday, January 29, 2009

Don't you dare Lie To Me

I am watching the pilot episode of "Lie To Me" with Tim Roth, whom I love and don't think I have seen since "Four Rooms". Hold on, let me check that... Wow, he has done 32 projects since that film. Oops. Guess I don't love him as much as I thought I did.

This show is about an expert of behavior who can glean whether or not someone is lying based on micro-expressions and body language. I need this skill, though I know that it would make me crazy, seeing how much people lie.

I am fascinated by the research that has gone into this show. They display images of famous faces to demonstrate scorn, anger, shame. I do wonder though if one can learn the tells to hide when they are lying and if this program is teaching me to expertly conceal the truth.

This program takes place in DC, which is another thing I love, though it forces me to analyze the areas to prove that they dn't really film in the District. The first episode deals with a Senator accused of patronizing prostitutes in Georgetown. I am afraid that every episode will deal with the members of the Hill, since this show is taking place here and they all seem to be liars. Then this show will be like watching CSPAN.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

AI - Auditions day 2

The directors of AI are funny people. They had an intro of a very pretty girl who talks about her powerful voice. It was a very serious intro and then she sang like a tape that has been in the sun too long.

This next girl chose a song that Simon co-wrote and then messed up the words. Oops. But she has a nice voice, so I guess all is forgiven.

I am sitting around waiting for the cable guy to show up and replace my cable box. But I still have to get through this two hour show. And I am not feeling clever at all, so I am afraid this may come out as a clinical assessment instead of my typical witty banter. (I sure do blow my own horn a lot, but no one reads this blog, so I can do as I wish. Sometime I am going to write an entry that just states "Bug rules!!" 73 times. But not today).

I want someone to sing Sara Bareilles "Love Song" because it is in my head.

There is a distinct correlation between funny looks and funny voices. (Looks to include outfit). I think they could toss out anyone wearing a hat without even listening to them sing and save some time. WHAAAT? They liked the "Over the Rainbow" singing hat wearer? He won't last.

Jason Castro's brother is on the show. I wanna guess that he is going to suck, but I have a feeling and turns out he's got a nice voice. He sings a bit in his throat, but you know, whatever. He looks like a German girl.

Jennifer Jason Leigh's little sister is on. She is so nervous that my television set is vibrating. She likes to be called Jazz, and then she tips her hat. I wonder if that is her signature move. Her reactions due to the utter silence from the judges are wonderful. I wish they would let her stay just because she entertains me. I am a cruel mistress.

Rembrandt needs to go to Kansas City and get to bleaching some teeth. Their teeth look like my newly painted walls (which are yellow if you are not getting where I am going here).

Well, the cable guy is here now and I am getting a new/used box. It had better work better than the last one. He is having a hard time connecting it so I had better go help. I missed the last 35 minutes of AI, but I am fairly certain I did not miss much.

Seacrest OUT!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

It's back!!! Season 8

Yay! It’s American Idol time again. I like the auditions and I like the process getting these kids onto the stage where the hockey moms and little girls/boys vote for them. That’s when my interest peters off and I fast forward through the songs just to hear what Paula is going to say. I want to start a drinking game. Every time anyone says anything that is more than 100%, you drink. (Drink 1 million %! 100 thousand million percent!). Anytime Paula seriously slurs, you drink. OR you can play the drinking game with 3 others and pick a favorite judge. Then if you picked Randy, you can point to someone to drink when he says “dawg”. Or if you picked Simon, you can make someone drink when he says “I’m not being mean”. You get the gist. Make up your own rules. Sheesh. Do I have to do everything here!?!?

Oh, the show is starting. I liked their opening sequence that reminds us of why we watch this show. Weirdos, genuinely talented people, Paula and Simon, oh and weirdos. I mean seriously. That is why we watch the auditions, right? Now we have a new judge. I wonder how the two girls will get along?

I wonder how long before my love for Simon is reignited.

First up is an asian-fro. I am very glad to see the fro making a new appearance. I want to touch his hair. Well, not really. It looks square. I bet Simon’s hair would look like that if he grew it out. Paula looks like she stepped out of a Flintstone’s cartoon with all her big rock like purple plastic jewelry. That guy inspired me to want to wear tap shoes out. You know, to shop or go to the movies.

I hate facial piercings. They make me nervous. The girl who has is sooo cute. But I hate her piercings. I have a good feeling about her though. (Oh, and there it is. 19 minutes in and Simon had the grin and I am right back in love with him. It is out of control.)

Oh wow, the next guy considers himself a rocker? He looks like a nerd who dressed up in the manner he believes rockers dress. What is hanging out of his pocket? Cry baby. He believes this is going to change his life “tremensly”. Yes, that’s what he said. He has tattoos. He must have wept while getting those. I bet they hurt tremensly. Oh else they were applied with Sharpie. And Simon called him a dramar queen. (I love the British accent). Oh, and later in the program they show him using the thing dangling from his pocket as a prop for his air guitar.

The guy who almost passed out could play the brother of Gollum from “Lord of the Rings”. My precious.

I don’t get people who go and wait for days to just go in front of the judges and look mentally unstable.

Stevie Wright is cute, too. I bet she makes it through to the top 12 or whatever the final group is.
Bikini clad girl... Honestly, if I had her body, I would go everywhere in a bikini.

Is it me or is everyone singing through their noses again? I hate nasally singers. These guys sound seriously whiny. A what is with the new trend of breaking notes? I feel like they can’t hold the note. It does not sound catchy with the cracks. It’s yucky. Stop it. Between this and the vocal acrobatics that they can’t quite manage, I am going quite deaf.