Dance With Somebody

Hello my darlings. It has been a while since I have live-blogged a Glee episode. I sat down to watch the latest, the Whitney episode, and it opened on Mercedes staring at a framed picture of Whitney Houston while singing about a boy. I thought, Yup! This one is ripe for live-blogging.

Let me start by saying that Glee has slowly been losing it's glimmer. It's tarnishing, if you will, right before my eyes, and I don't like it one bit! I'm bored. I used to cry. Now I play words with friends. What happened to Shelby? What kind of crap-ass storyline was that? Waste of good talent. Sorry, Idina. AND what the heck was up with Rachel's dads. One was supposed to be black. He was incredibly black in season one when we saw pictures of the two men together. Bah. Lame.

Okay, so let's get to the show. Why is she singing to a picture of Whitney? Why does she have a framed 8x10 of Whitney at school? Why is she so consternated? She's singing about a crush. Oh, my bad. It's a 5x7. Don't hold my inability to quickly gauge photo size against me. They have a shrine to Whitney? They certainly are setting this show up to be a barn burner. I sure hope they answer all of these pressing questions throughout the show. (Oh, and Santana looks vaguely like she's gonna puke.)

Oh, Glee.  You could have picked a better song to open with if you were gonna be that melodramatic about it.

Has it always been this way, or are they really promoting over-acting? Oh, and who sings for Brittany?

Ok, I feel like I'm being awfully negative so, some positives: I like Brittany & Santana's relationship. I like Santana's voice. I like that the show only seems to air once a month. Oh no. Sorry, there I go again.  But seriously who changed? The show? or the way I watch it?

Hahaha. The guy's name is pronounced Lah-vendor. It's a family name. Classic!

There actually was a pretty good throw away joke from Brittany. Talking about the dreadhead, she said, "yeah, Joe is pretty, but I heard she doesn't shave her pits."

I love Kurt's dad. He's a real character on this show of (say this next part with a trill) draaaama queens. 
Aw dammit, Kurt. Ya got me. I got a little teary during his rendition of "I have nothing", even though I passionately abhor falsetto. Yeah, he lost me towards the end of the song when he got super high pitchy, but the beginning was nice.

....

zzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzz
zzz, ewhah? (clears throat)
Sorry. Must have dozed off there for a second. I'm back.

Oh seriously? Schuester wants to get married soon so that his age inappropriate, not to mention otherwise inappropriate, friends can come to the wedding? This show is actually kind of sad.

Ew gross! Joe poked Quinn. But wait, isn't she paralyzed? How would she have felt that...?

Why are they all hugging? Didn't they just spend the whole day going to classes together? Teenagers! Bah. Just kiddding. I just am soo old I forget what HS is like. I think I can recall being rather dramatic.

Also, can we end the word adorkable? (New Girl)

Television's biggest star

It seems that the biggest star on TV is the baby (well, generally babies) who plays little Beth on Glee. I just saw that she also plays the Scavo baby on Desperate Housewives. Is it wrong to be jealous of someone who can't even walk yet?

Glee-ality

Final Four - Season one finale. Who is gonna win? Let's break it down, shall we? (alphabetically).

Alex: He is a diva, but he has talent. I just wonder if there is more than one layer to him? Also, he is just the male/gay version of Mercedes which could either make or break him. I would not tune in to see him (though I would watch anyway) because I don't think he is a very good actor.

Damian (aka: Ireland): He has been in the bottom three a lot. But that also means that Ryan has seen him often enough to be able to have thought about a character for him. His accent would make him a good candidate for the short character arc as he could be an exchange student. I think he charms Ryan, but he is not very talented. I am not a fan of his singing or his dancey eyebrows.

Lindsay: She's got the looks, the voice, the acting chops. She just needs to get out of her own way. I just don't know what Ryan would write for her. There is nothing that makes her quirky (obviously quirky).

Samuel: His smoldering gaze is the only look he's got. I liked him tons at first, but now I am bored and over him. He is a decent actor. But... meh. I can see Ryan liking him because he is different looking and he has the whole Christian thingy.

So they brought back all of the contestants.. So.. yay..

"We're taking all 12 of you to the top of a 35 story skyscraper in downtown LA" and then we are going to push you off one by one until we have a winner. Just kidding. Robert Ulrich only said the first part. But I know they are afraid! Actually, if I were the insurance provider for the show, I would be afraid. These kids are not the most graceful.

Lindsay feels like a Beatle. Well, the camera sure seems to find her a lot during the video. And based on the video, you would think that Marisa was still in it to win it.

I have no idea who is going to win, and where the heck is Idina Menzel? The other guest mentors are there. Punk.

Damnometer! Lindsay nailed it! Holy smokes! And it was so fun to watch the faces of the "audience".

Ireland picked a good song, and he is charming as heck! But he can't even snap for himself in rhythm. But his eyebrows are going in full force.

Samuel is cocky, or insecure, or something, but it is really interfering with his likeability. He should be a shoo-in by singing Jolene, because it is such an awesome song. The crowd seemed to like him.

Alex is coming out as Mercedes. I like his wig.

Time to decide. I still lean towards Lindsay because I do believe singing and acting ability is important. Zach just said that Ireland could be an exchange student. I bet if they cast Alex, he would play the role of a cross-dressing student who gets outed, or something.

Ryan is wearing my hat. Samuel won? Meh. Ireland won, too. Hmm. They all won? Lame-o. They just did that so they can actually keep whoever turns out to actually be the best fit on the show.

The end.

Generosity

Generosity. I am lacking that today. Well, let's make a judgment call at the end of this diatribe, shall we? Just started the show and I already know that Ireland/Dancing Eyebrows is going home. He is the least talented singer of the bunch. Plus, his eyebrows are weird. (As am I. I have been typing with an Irish brogue... Also, drinking wine which makes typing ever so difficult.)

I think this show has a multitude of layers. I think that even if Lindsay doesn't win, her personality will take a shift to the better. As for dreadlocks (why do I suck so bad at names? Oh, like you'll remember who I am talking about in the future anyway...), his attitude is wicked annoying. I hate people who are so "oh, woe is me" until they have a modicum of success, then suddenly turn into entitled beyotches. Blech and boring. I think he needs some training. But the problem with our current reality television star churning machine is that they don't suffer the indignities of failure before success as most talented people do. (Like ME! In one day I went to four (4) auditions. I was told that I was too fat, too slim. Too ugly, too pretty. Too American, too European. Nose too big. Face too small. Whatever! Those are the things that make you strong! Failure!!! Mean people! Going home to wine (heh, I mean whine) to your cat about yet another role you did not land until you land the role. Then it is on, mutha brothers! ON! Or you chicken out and go to work as an assistant at a defence, er defense firm. (How did I get infected with the British bug?) No judgment. Just saying. People should have to work hard to get that level of success.

Where was I? Diatribe over. Suddenly I am exhausted. Oh, I have to watch this show.

I think Lindsay will win. She's pretty. She really can sing. She can act. If she can get past her sociopathism (is that a word? Ah, it is now.) then she will be great. Alex is the female version of Mercedes. Ireland is awful and Samuel is a close second but... he is a one trick pony. (sultry song glare...)

Yay. It's smiley boy time. Zach Woodlee is so cute. Shh. Lemme enjoy this...






Shhh...






Seriously... SHHHH...







Okay, Lindsay is still an arrogant cow. Knock it off. And Ireland thinks that shrugging his shoulders is akin to playing the drums. I cannot type the sound that I am making. But seriously, Zach is cute! Even when he says things like "I do need them to take this a bit more seriously, though. It is Glee we are talking about".

They seem to be losing control. It's like the inmates running the asylum. That said, they used Lindsay's audio most and she came across in the video well. So, I stand by her. BUT they just said Ryan and game changer, so maybe they will use all of these kids... Oh, no. That's not it. They all have to perform. Okay... That was sooooo unexpected.

The vocal coach chick (who is sooo pretty) really dislikes Lindsay. It practically oozes out of her. I applaud her ability to make Lindsay not notice. I wish they would assign Charlie Chaplin's "Smile". I love that song.

Is Ian Ryan Murphy's boyfriend?

Ireland needs botox injections in his forehead to settle those eyebrows down! Smeh. My personality, my arse. Time for you to go home. Okay, just kidding. He is charming. But, buh bye, now. I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!

Defying Gravity... Interesting choice for the girl they are attempting to get to change. "Something has changed within me." I think they are feeding her the win. Or they are trying to get her to quit on her own. ('Cause the song is about someone who bucks authority).

I dunno why, but Samuel has begun to annoy me. What is it? I think he is tedious. I think they all are, but maybe I just see something in Lindsay I can relate to (I too, am an insecure narcissist).

Whenever this show is over, I feel an urge to have an Itunes concert. "Isn't it grand? Isn't it great? Isn't it swell?"

Seriously!?! Ireland is staying? They're all staying? What's the point of that? Wimpy judges.

(Don't judge me as I am a little weepy for them. I am such a sap. Ugh)

Sexuality

I believe it is time for another rousing edition of Bug reacts to The Glee Project. After last week's devastating release of my personal favorite Marissa, I'm not sure who I am rooting for anymore. This episode ought to help push someone into my favor. Meanwhile, I will drink wine and eat Ruffles Molten Hot Wings potato chips. (Feel free to send me new flavors to test out, or reward my mention of your product with All Dressed chips which I know can be found in America's hat*.)

This week's topic is sexuality. I think Marissa would have been great on this. And poor Ireland's head would have exploded. By the way, why is he still on the show? I said good day, sir (in a poor Irish accent).

 I am afraid for my eyes during the homework assignment as these kids try to rape the guest from the stage every week. The Horror! Plus the nerdy seriel killer looking kid always does the same spastic dance which the show runners seem to think is spectacular and I think is an indicator of an imminent brain aneurism. I wonder how he will insert it into today's show. Maybe they should do a show called subtlety. THAT is something they could stand to learn. Hmm, they used the voyeuristic version of sexuality. They kept looking at Puck and Zizes and the casting guy as if they were expecting them to join in, perhaps?

Ugh! You have a girlfriend. We get it. Now, I am a big fan that he is loyal and true to her, but dude, you are an actor. You are acting. Sheesh. I think she will be okay with that and if not, you are going to have to give up one or the other. Ha! Ireland just said that he didn't think the scenes would be too sexual as it is Glee! Um, are we watching the same show?

The video: Teenage Dream - Katy Perry. Um, I thought the food in the kitchen was a little on the nose with Hannah. I'm sorry, but...
They cut so much that it never really went anywhere, for me. They stayed on Lindsay and Ireland the most, which made sense because they where the only ones that seemed to get the idea for the video. I didn't think the kitchen couple was flirting and Samuel seems to be a decent actor, but Alex not so much.  That was my least favorite video of them all.

My guess for bottom three: Alex, Cameron, Lindsay. I pick Lindsay because of her vocal limitations per Nikki. Cameron mostly because I don't really like him and he won't do what a director asks of him.

I don't know if I wrote this in my last post, but I think the kids who get to perform in front of Ryan are lucky. Even though they are called bottom 3 and have the possibility of going home, Ryan gets to know them and see if he can write for them. I think he is way more likely to cast someone he knows he can write for.

Hmm, I was wrong on Lindsay. The bottom three are whining about being in the bottom. Suck it up, honeys. The acting life is a tough one, full of nos and negative things.

I kind of love Alex. He is super queenie, which could go awry in my ever so humble opinion. Yet, he has something that I am thoroughly charmed by. I hope he can channel his feelings into being a better actor. If he could just tap into his vulnerable side, he could win.

I love how very supportive Robert and Zach are when these kids sing in the bottom three. They have proud papa looks on their faces and clap vociferously.

Oh, is Cameron quitting? I think that they might let him go, but Ryan's desire to write for a Christian kid overrides his ability to see that Cameron would not be a good choice to win. He is too young. Maybe in a couple of years after this girlfriend has promised to save herself for their wedding day, and winds up pregnant with twins from her Algebra tutor, who happens to be Cameron's arch nemesis, and twin brother, and he vows to sleep with all of her friends to get back at her, will he be able to be on Glee.

See?

Haha. Ryan said he was sad because he felt that Cameron could have touched so many people. Isn't that why Cameron is leaving? He doesn't want to touch all of those people. And man! Ireland is like a cat. 9 lives. Always landing on his feet. But Cameron is a jerk for saying that he saved Ireland.

Cameron has to go tend to the bodies in his basement. ***


*I am just teasing!** I love Canada and everything it has to stand for. I am exceptionally grateful for the fantastic game Balderdash that hails from the Great White North. So no politely phrased hate mail, please.
**I am not, however,teasing about sending me these chips. Pleaseandthankyou.
***or crawl space. How would I know? He didn't talk about it on the show. 

Pairability

I am really into this show. I have to say that I am a proud "Gleek" Britney episode notwithstanding. (Though I did watch that episode again recently and did not hate it as much as I did the first time I saw it. Yep, drank the koolaid, I did.)

So they have culled the show of many of the people I thought were not meant to win. But every week we get to know these kids a little better and it makes it harder (or easier) to see them leave.

My current favorite is Marissa. She has been a solid, but quiet contender. As she is finding more success, we are seeing her sexy, booty poppin' side. I hope she can maintain herself so that her lips don't suddenly turn fuchsia. (That's an Emily reference, who went home in episode 2).

So they are doing duets this week. Awesome. They paired Ireland with Matheus. They sang The Lady is Tramp. (Which according to my mom, the song is about me). Their video was cute, but those two are hams and overacted their way to the end. Thank God the singing coach couched Matheus "rocker screams". Ugh, so don't need to hear that crap anymore. As for Ireland, I'm just not a fan. I don't know what it is about him, but no. He gives creepy looks, and sings like he's being muted. Just weird. Sorry.

They paired Hannah and Alex. I like her and I glad they taught Alex some humility last week, because he was on a train to divaville.

Ooh, I love the choreographers. She just told Hannah that everyone is sexy. Which, YES! So true. You just have to own it, baby. Find your sexy.

So Hannah and Alex are singing "Nowadays", a Broadway tune from Chicago, which was sung by two women. Oh no! They actually dressed Alex in drag? And what is that wig on Hannah's head? They are really forcing her to dig deep for the sexy. Sheesh! Alex looks good as a woman, and Hannah looks pretty, save for that wig... They bring a lot of sass, but not enough energy.

So now we get to see the video for "Don't You Want Me Baby" with Marissa and Samuel. The two frontrunners, if it were up to me. Crap, that's a hot video, and when she kisses him at the end, he dives in for more. She is a good actress. She gives a lot without doing too much. I really like her.

Finally we have Lindsay and Cameron. He is a little weird to me. He seems to be hiding a lot? I dunno. He makes me uncomfortable. And she is soooo cocky. Which is a shame, because she can back it up with talent and looks, but no one wants to be around that. Uh oh. She just felt the challenge of oomphing it up after seeing Marissa kiss Samuel. I see backfire coming? Let's see what happens. Oh, cute!! It was a cute video. She really is talented. He's pretty good, too. And then she lays one on him. It worked for me. Cameron has to go to confession, now. Wow, he is feeling serious guilt for Lindsay giving him an acting kiss. And my ex had no problem having a harem of women to do more than kiss. Interesting. But back to Cameron. He wants to be an actor? What's the plan? To have a lip double?

Okay, my bottom three would be Matheus, Ireland (what is that boy's real name??), and Hannah. I pick Hannah because she was overshadowed by Alex in the video. Let's have the real bottom three revealed: Oh, that's a game changer for sure! (Why is the choreography boy so cute?) Before watching them sing, I think Matheus is going home.

Hannah and Alex singing Valerie. They are sooo cute. I want more of them!!!!

Matheus and Ireland sing These Boots are Made for Walking. They worked well together but don't want more of them. And why does Matheus always wear his shirt unbuttoned to the naval?

I am officially a fan of Ryan Murphy. One, he tells Matheus not to listen to divas who will always try to bring you down. Then he calls Cameron out for getting kissed, crying, and then calling his mother. I like that he calls people out on their crap right away. It is intimidating, but at least you always know where you stand, right? So, are they going to have to do a final bottom three in addition to the duets?

Okay, off on my bottom three, though Matheus is going home. That I am sure of. But I love that they are teaching them how to be better actors, better people.

Top 12

Time to check in on the dancers. I am not as in to this season as I would like to be. There is no one that is really compelling to invest in. As much as I love MM, she doesn't quite possess as much personality as I expected her to when I first saw her audition. I still like her a lot. She could win. As for Ryan, she is definitely missing something intangible that is vital to being an exciting dancer. Marci made a comment about her using her arms weirdly, or not extending them enough. It's true, they somehow seem to have the tensile strength of a cooked noodle. I'm ready for her to go. She's been in the bottom 3 consistently and the judges keep saving her.
The boys are pretty great this time, but they don't have the fire I am looking for either. The boy who could be Harry Shum, Jr.'s (of Glee) little brother always looks like he is about to cry and that makes me angry for some reason. (I don't seem to possess too much maternal instinct). They should utilize his sad face and make him do a pierrot dance.
Caitlynn overacts too much for me to like her a lot. She's always indicating to the audience. I think she is a fabulous dancer, but she seems more fit for a cruise ship, than as a key dancer because she doesn't ever become the dance. She is always performing it. I do appreciate Nigel not wanting to comment on her sexiness because he is afraid it will label him as a dirty old man. (TOO LATE!)
Mary Murphy and her teeth are back this season and I have already blown out six speakers. She does seem a little tougher this time around. And they are using Sonya more, which I adore. She is really intelligent and I like what she has to say.
Speaking of judges, I am loving guest judges. Yay for Kristin Chenoweth and the randomness of Jesse Tyler Ferguson. I get Kristin, but is Jesse a dancer? A Broadway guy? Or is he just a dance appreciator? Whatever, I liked having him there.
I think I am cranky because this is a pretty harsh review. Forgive me. I can be more funny later.

The elimination show:
Kat was nominated for an Emmy! That's very appropriate and I hope she wins. She makes the show. (8 noms for the whole show).

Okay, I love the little shorts and the saucy outfits that the dancers wear. But what the heck is Clarisse wearing? She looks like one of the girls I saw on 14th St. one night. Yikes.

Okay, what do they have to say to the girls? As we know, I think it is time for Ryan to go. I have a feeling the judges will agree. Yup. Good choice. Let's look at the boys.

I have no idea which will be sent home. I think it may be Alexander... and I am right.

I just need a really awesomely choregraphed dance to get back into the show. Bring Mia Michaels back.

Season 8. Episode 1

I love watching these kids dance. It makes me think I can fly through the air, legs and arms spread akimbo. (Which is sadly disproved when I crash into walls, and or wrench my ankle in my attempts). 

I have seen two auditions and I have already picked my winner. Melanie Moore is gorgeous. She has a bit of a Ginnifer Goodwin thing going for her. I cannot wait to see her in Mandy Moore or Mia Michaels choreography. (MM all the way). 

The rest of the show seems to be the usual compilation of talent vs. wanting to be seen. One fella, calling himself "White Chocolate" further proves my point that white chocolate is just a wad of fatty tastelessness. (Okay, that's a bit extreme, but C'MON!) 

Amber Williams is a little firecracker. She is in fierce competition with Melanie to be my favorite, though her wack-doodleness may become a little annoying. I hope she balances it out. (Sheesh, do I sound like an old lady, or what?) I have to say that when she takes the commentary from the judges, she is very polite. So. YES!

And finally, it's good to see Mia Michaels' protege back. I can't remember her name, but she's a great dancer.

Okay, I am already a little bored. The auditions go on far too long. Let's just get to the dancing.

More singing teenagers.

I saw that my girlfriend Idina Menzel was going to be the guest person on the second episode of the Glee Project and thought, wait, they haven't aired the second episode yet? So I tracked down the first one, starring the cute Darren Criss to quietly judge in preparation for my girl.

Keeping in mind that it is a reality show about teen/20-somethings, I have a low bar. At the same time, we are dealing with kids singing! and dancing! Yes, please!

They sing a group song (Signed, sealed, delivered) to Darren. He has the appropriate facial reactions that one would have when people are overacting their little hearts out. Why do all the kids wink at me? It's unnerving. Also, the heavy metal shriek, aka the Adam Lambert, must stop. Ugh. "Wow" she says derisively, "You sure do have range...". But they can sing. Let's see where this goes.

Okay, not having seen much yet, I am ready to lay the judgment down. There is the fuchsia lipped girl who tries to verbally rape Darren and then proceeds to lay her sad little slutty mark down everywhere she goes. When asked what her yearbook superlative would be, she says "to be the best swimsuit model that I could be". She then follows that up with a direct to camera "I hope I get to wear a bikini". What is she trying to prove? Boring. 

Then there is the girl who thinks she looks really young, and when confused for a boy, she does look like an extra from Oliver Twist. She complains about looking young and then proceeds to talk in a baby voice. Being someone who looks much younger than they are and not being a huge fan of it, this is further proof that looking young messes with people's heads. So stop saying it is so great to look young, unless you do and you know what the heck you are talking about. 

Okay, the video was super cute, and I am starting to like these kids. I hope fuchsia lips calm down, and that pretty little "classically trained soprano" doesn't get her head so bloated that she is unable to fit into the studio. I find that Ireland has little to no personality and that child-girl needs to get out of her own way. The other guy in the bottom three has made no impact on me either, but I feel like he will self-direct himself home, if he is not careful. The other pretty girl reminds me so much of someone and I just can't place her.

Ireland sings Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl". He sings it in a new and improved way. He sings "I wish that I was Jessie's girl". He is committed to the notion and afterwards Ryan Murphy calls him out on it. Oops.

The other guy seems old. So he could be one of the football players.

The little girl one needs to stop seeing herself that way so that she can get ahead. Not just here, but in life.

Okay, they posted the list. I want to put my guess down for who they are sending home...
I think Ireland is in because his foible was charming. I think that other guy is out simply because he was attitudey to the cute dancey guy.

The one being sent home is:
Bryce (the other guy)

Damn, I am good. I would be a good casting agent. (Hire me to cast your project!)

"Never Been Kissed"

Holy smokes, that boy from the Warblers is soooo cute. Good for Kurt for standing up to the meathead. Whoa! Should've seen THAT coming. But I didn't. I was too busy cheering Kurt on.

Poor Bieste. I want them to be nice to her. Though her in a tutu en pointe at the barre with the cigar was a fairly priceless image I don't want to leave my imagination for a long time. Why did Schuester tell her what the kids are doing with her image? I swear, he gets more and more dumb each episode.

Holy crap. Bieste is 40!?! I'm almost 40. My friend Jen is 40. There is a HUGE disparity in the way we look. AND Schuester will kiss anyone.

Have the Glee writers lost interest in Rachel? She spoke 55 words and she mouthed "okay" once. She was in 4 scenes, including the song which she sang. And yeah, I counted. What? It's who I am.
I mean, I get it. Her story arc was covered last season. But she looks HOT and makes me wanna cut bangs again. (That paragraph had 60 words in it, until I started typing this sentence...)



I want a confetti cannon.

I'm conflicted

My nemesis hosted the gang from the film "The Sound of Music.
I watched. She, as is her way, made it all about her. I wouldn't expect less. ("I looove my faaavorite thiii-iiings")
Ugh.

But I love my BFF Julie Andrews.

Short Fuse

I like shows that take place in DC. I really do. I'm sure it's because I live here, and whatever. But I do get annoyed when shows that are located here mispronounce names of our stuff, like our cities. It's pronounced Mah-Clane. Not Mc-clean. And Gibbs AND McGee mispronounced it. Grr. That's just wrong. Didn't anyone who works on the show ever live in VA?

Mah-clane!

Oh, and lady at 411. It's Gleeb, road, not Glee-bee road. (Glebe Rd) (Though that one I found hilarious and use all the time to the point that someone thought they were mispronouncing it when they said Gleeb. Ha!)

Shock to the System

I've been watching Grey's Anatomy since the beginning. I was really sold on it at first. I loved the slightly off characters. It seemed to make sense to me that people who would choose to spend their lives elbow deep in people's bodies would be a little crazy.

Then they got too crazy.

I got bored. I think we all did. Grey's was no longer a destination show. (I knew of people who would have "Grey's night" with potluck dinners.)

Then they shot last season's finale. Holy smokes. When the gunman shot the Shrek doctor and then pulled Dr. Bailey out from under the bed, I thought I would never breathe again. Grey's Anatomy was back!

Okay, it is still neurotic and some of the things that annoyed me are still annoying. It's like getting back together with someone you dumped and you are not sure if you want to get as serious as you were before.

Tonight, when Cristina Yang loses her $**! in the OR and Meredith comes in and lies on the ground with her, I was in.

Actually, Cristina's storyline is the only one I am really interested in right now. I want to care about Meredith. I like that she left Derek in the clink. But Shonda Rhimes has some work to do to bring me back around to the others. By the way, having ditzy doctor who crushed on Shepherd move into Meredith's orphanage with them is not the way to do it. Meredith, who refused to acknowledge her father or sister for so long would not come around to this silly girl so easily.

It's Brittany......Bitch.

I love Britney Spears. I love Glee. I do not love the two together. Wow. This was maybe the worst episode. The writing was heavy handed. Will Schuster is uptight. You know how I know? Because they told me 7000 times. I dunno if he is uptight, but after that little performance to "Sailing", I am thoroughly convinced that he is a super dweeb.

The songs seemed like karaoke. Bad karaoke. Let's break down the musical numbers, shall we?

1. Brittany sings "I'm a slave 4 U". Turns out she has a pretty good voice. She sings it a little slow, but it's good enough. I am glad for this sequence because we got to safely ogle her ridiculous body. Damn, I need to get to the gym. But the dancing was frenetic. The girl is a dancer. Couldn't they have choreographed a little better? And what was with her dancing with children whilst in the red pleather ensemble from "Oops, I did it again". Very confusing and distressing.

2. Brittany and Santana sing "Me against the Music". I was concerned with Santana's use of that cane and the fact that she thrust her crotch into the face of a disinterested boy. She's creepy just like Madonna was in the original video. I do love her voice and the relationship between her and Brittany. Brittany does do the whole tongue hyper-extended over her front teeth to lip sync "t"s. Question: why is Brittany's hair so dirty looking? I thought Britney did not get all white trashy until she met K-Fed. Oh, who am I kidding...
Britney shows up at the end of this song sequence and she looks old. Old. And, well, old.

3. Rachel sings "Hit Me Baby One More Time". They made it higher for her and she sang it. I mean that she made it all singy, and not cool. Like she is trying way too hard. Like a pageant kid. She also does the over-lip-synching.

4. Artie sings "Stronger". Baybay... Britney appears in a cheerios uniform at the onset of this song. She needs to fire her hair stylist. Her extensions look sooo crappy. Unless she puts them in herself. (Remember that Matt Lauer interview). This was sung fairly well, but smeh... Bored.

5. New Directions sing "Toxic". I love that they are finally letting Brittany sing. The kids in the audience flip out then proceed to have a massive group masturbation orgy. Very distressing. Very, very distressing.  And why did Kurt place two hats over Mercedes' boobs? That was odd. Very odd. Then the massive freak out for the fire alarm going off? My school had two fire alarms in the last week and neither time did anyone rush out of the building. In fact, we contemplated staying. (We're fierce like that).

Rachel wears a revamped version of Britney's ensemble from "Hit Me". It does not look too different from what she normally wears. This show is confusing me.

The comments the kids make as they come out of anesthesia are pretty awesome.
Brittany "Are you a cat?" "I pet a snake"
Rachel "Is this real life" (Nice nod to David after dentist)

Why is Will so against Britney? And why is he so into Christopher Cross? That did not make any sense. Then they slid in an awesome Paramore song? Huh? How does Hayley Williams tie in to Britney? Also, she sang it wrong. Just one word, but still bugged me. But she sang it really well.

So, this episode was suckily written, but I learned that Britney makes you cool.

Raising Hope Pilot

Raising Princess Beyoncé Hope.

Wow, so much happens in the first ten minutes of this show. It's tightly written and kept me engaged.

*Spoiler*

It's a shame they kill off the baby momma so quickly because the girl who plays her is super cute.

I love Martha Plimpton and I am so glad to see her in something again. She was briefly on a couple of episodes of "The Good Wife" and was great. I am glad she gets a meatier role. And she gets to say things like "dramastically".

They nail the poor white people family. (I try not to use white trash, because it is so very derogatory, but were I to use it in the colloquial sense, it would fit here.)

I think this show is so wrong, it's right and hopefully will continue with the "Omigosh, they didn't" type of chuckles.

SNL Katy Perry (Host-Amy Poehler)

Katy Perry is a beautiful girl. I have not figured out why she is so desperate to be a cartoon. She sang "California Gurls" to a New York crowd, and seemed surprised when they did not respond to her "Come on" (and sing California gurls).

She did not sound bad. She started a little wobbly, but she figured out pretty quickly that she could stop singing the whoa-oh-oh- parts and leave that to the recording she was singing along to. In short, she sounded like I do when I sing along to the radio, except a little better.

She sounded great on the Teenage Dream song. (I love that song). I was prepared to say that she does not have a great voice, but she sang the hell out of the Boogerman song.

This entry took a turn. I was all, whatever Katy Perry, when I started. But she was cute. And I love how she poked fun at the Elmo debacle by wearing his face stretched across her massive boobs.
Well played, Perry.

Mid-September madness

Joel McHale always wears this skinny ties. I was thinking he was just a super big Mad Men fan. But I just saw him standing next to Patrick Warburton, whom I have always thought is the tallest man on TV (wait, what about Raymond's brother from Everyone Loves Raymond maybe he is actual tallest), and Joel is a good inch or so taller than him. Maybe the ties are normal size, but they just look skinny on him.

So Paris Hilton is not welcome in Japan anymore... Anyone fancy a trip to Tokyo?

Back to School

The Middle! I kind of love this show. I think I may even like it better than Modern Family. Scandalous thinking on my part, I know. I love the family dynamics here. I love the weirdness. I love Sue's optimism, Brick's bookishness (bookishness), and well, I think Axel wandering about in his boxers is unnerving. But you can't win them all. Let's see what the Hecks are up to.

When I was little school always started on or around my mom's birthday, which she considered to be the best birthday gift. I never understood. Wasn't she sad that her baby was leaving her?

The show opens on the end of summer and the madness that is the first day of school when you are the parents of three kids.

Ha! Sue's middle name is Sue. That's great.

This is another show that uses voiceover. Here, however, it works as we are in Frankie Heck's head as she lives her life as a mom. I feel like she is how I would be if I could ever roofie someone long enough to marry me and help me bear their children. Or maybe I just relate because I think I was (still am?) Sue Sue Heck. She gets to be in on the all inclusive Cross Country team. She wears her new team sweatshirt all the time, even though it is way too hot. I would do that.

As for Frankie (the mom), she opts to try to get ahead of problems. This leads to mayhem. I would do this and this would happen. Sigh.

This is a great show. Watch it.

Pilot

I am not thrilled about watching this new comedy "Running Wilde". It just looks kind of stupid to me. I hate how they got all clever to name the kid "Puddle". The fact that the show is being told from this kids point of view is an interesting convention, but not one I am certain of thinking highly of.

I really love Will Arnett, but I feel like he needs a talented cast around him to keep his characters from becoming too over the top, or just simply too much. I like Keri Russell, but... well... I really don't have anything to say about her. I did love Waitress.

I would not even be watching the pilot if it were not for it being on right after Raising Hope which is another one I am on the fence on (leaning a bit more towards like than not, though). So here goes. I am gonna watch this show and then we can can discuss if I have changed my opinion.

Already we start with a voiceover... Ugh. It's a bit heavy-handed being told the story from the girl who does not talk. I have to admit that I lost interest pretty quickly and opted to wash my cat's water bowl instead. When I came back, there were natives in a pool.

I dunno about this show. It's not very sophisticated. I hate that networks think that American viewers are stupid. There is a sweetness between the two leads, but I am not thinking I will be back to see how they progress.

The Town

Wow. This movie was non-stop action. It was violent. It was fast-paced. It was so much more.

This was an incredibly well written film. The stress level is flying off the roof, and they manage to bring a line in that makes you laugh and still stay true to the storyline and the characters. None of the characters are left hanging. In other words, everyone we meet is important and their story is completed, at least enough for us viewers to be satisfied.

Ben Affleck does a gorgeous job directing. He goes from a super saturated look, to black and white. Intense noise to dead silence. He uses these conventions carefully to create an extremely compelling film.

It's a Boston film, but not a Bahston film. The accents (save for maybe Blake Lively's) are not painfully noticeable. It just happened to take place in Boston.

Great story. Great film. Go see it. (Ben Affleck is getting sexier with age).