Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Holy Crap

Here we go again. Why is this show 2 hours long? I had better crack open a nice pinot grigio.

What is on the back of Paula's shoes that makes her walk like a chihuahua when you put socks on it's feet? Randy just said that it was hard to see Alexis go. I think it was because he wanted Allison to go. (Remember? When pressed, he said that of Alexis and the screecher, Allison would be the one to go home).

Aw, Scott's brother does not get to guide him anymore.

Wow, they got to go to Hitsville? That is so cool. I would love to get the stories of the history of Motown. Man, then they get to sing with Smokey Robinson. Can you imagine? I would be too awestruck to be able to complete a sentence, much less a song.

I always wanted to have a hot neighbor and just happen to be playing "Let's get it on" whenever he came home. But I never got a hot neighbor and I don't think Sloth's pants should be THAT tight when he sings this. However, maybe it is how he reaches them there high notes. I like him. He seems like a nice kid.

Oh, it's that guy. He is still on the show... I actually like his voice. But I forget about him as soon as he is off the screen. (Hmm, Paula's bangs are shellacked in place. They don't move at all). Simon just said that he is not conceited enough. I just think he is booooorrring. Seriously! He is so forgettable that during the commercials, I forgot what show I was watching.

Scott is wearing pink pants. I thought he could see a little... He says he is single. The pink pants are not going to help. I think he is going to make this song boring. Let's see... Ugh. He should sing the theme song for Miss America and leave it at that. ENOUGH ALREADY! Holy crap. What is he doing to this song? This is worse than awful. Oh I feel something, Paula. It is bile in my throat.

Oh snap! Paula just gave Simon crayons and a colouring book. Nice. Oh, and Scott says he did not know his pants were pink until right before the show. Seems the stylist is playing with him. Maybe the stylist is saying enough already, too.

Oh Megan. Let's hear you make this song sound like every other song you may ever sing. Wow, she is not hitting the notes very well. She looks a bit like Carrie Underwood today. Damn, she is flat. She does have the cocky that Simon wants out of that guy.

Man, Smokey is nice. I have to respect Randy Travis for not being super saccharinny. But Smokey said nice things about my boy Anoop. (Oops, I typed Anoops. Ha. An oops. Ha!) Wow, Noops can do a nice falsetto. Not one that makes me wish Freddie Krueger would shove a spike through my ear like he did to Johnny Depp. (Though look what it did for Johnny!)

Commercial break: I LOVE this McDonald's commercial. "Gimme back that fillet o'fish! Gimme that fish!" Brilliant!!!

Michael is singing "Ain't too Proud to Beg". Is that in a rap song? This is terrible. Man, they all suck. Send 'em all home and let Sloth and Lil battle it out. I just figured the song out that I was thinking of. "If I need it in the morning or the middle of the night, I ain't too proud to beg!" (TLC).

Oh Lil, I did not like that either. She was shrieking at me, and did it without managing to hit many of the notes. Why are they all off today?

I just saw Olivia Newton John! I like checking out the audience and playing who is famous.

Why is the screecher dressed to look Elvis? You ain't no Elvis. But if you were, I would like to hear that Elvis has left the building. Oh, I will concede he has talent, but I simply cannot stand him and I have suddenly forgotten his name. He grosses me out. I will have to bathe in acid now. And what's up Kara? This show ain't about you.

Danny Gokey will need to work on his stage presence. His voice is great, but he is soooo cheesy on stage. AND he totally disregarded Smokey's advice about singing the back-up. I wonder if that will anger his potential voters.

The way Allison is dressed, she looks like her papa was a rolling stone. Or a john. Yikes. This child can sing.

The best part of the show was Simon's application of a mustache on Paula. Ha.

My bottom three:
Scott, Megan, Michael.

Michael is going home.

1 comment:

MaryO said...

Excellent blog. Damn, sista, I'm pretty much in total agreement with all.

Right on with the bottom three. I'm guessing Michael will go too, but I'm hoping it will be Meghan. She just annoys me. Scott would have been good in the 70s singing "You Light Up My Life".

I do think you're wrong about screecher impersonating Elvis. I'm thinking k.d. Lang. Yeah. He does have a beautiful instrument, but I just don't like what he does with it.

I, too, agree about the boy with no name. The guitar boy. I forget his name too. But I like his groove. Though definitely not a top three.

Yay piano boy and Danny Gokey.

Disappointed in Lil. But I still like her. Can't say a word about Allison. I fell asleep.

And I liked Kara the first episode or so, but I'm so over her now. She needs to shut her pie hole.

Juror #8