Hollywood week. (Hell week) (My Heaven week)

It is Hollywood Week. This is the very best part of this show. I am such a sadist. I love watching these people break down from the pressure. Obviously they have some semblance of talent, or else they would not be there. (Save for the people who get voted through to irritate one of the judges). This week is there to test their mettle, their endurance. This is my favorite part of the show because some people really begin to shine, but more importantly, I like watching people break down. This is where they show how hard they will work, and how badly they really do want this.

I watched the first day, but did not write about it. So I am watching the second day. I am so excited to see the bikini girl get eviscerated by Kara. I have been looking forward to Tatiana's (the crazy pageanty girl who gives kisses from her chin) breakdown. And it comes early in the show. Yay. Wow. She is truly the kind of person we do not want to give the power of celebrity to. Yikes.

These kids let the drama of their groups get to them too much. If one of their members needs to take a break, they should go on rehearsing without them so that when they go on stage, they are the best they can be. Instead they waste all their time confronting the non-compliant one. That's dumb. That way they all suck, instead of just the one who does not want to work as hard.

I wonder what the Norman character will do? I feel like he will melt into the background without his shiny shirt, sweatband and glasses. I don't think he will give as much energy as himself. Then he will go home.

I want the boy who opens his mouth bigger than an anaconda while singing "Over the Rainbow" to go home. The guy with the chin pins needs to go too because he is such a drama queen. It is tiresome. When I was a kid, my siblings called me waterworks. I ain't got nothing on this kid. Quit crying already.

Okay, it is performance time. I wonder how many people will cry and how many will bitch about being cut. Can you imagine going to an interview and being told that they don't need you for the job, then laying into the employer? I can't.

Dangit!! Is Katrina (bikini girl) not going on stage? BUT I NEED THE INTERACTION WITH KARA! Oh good. She is back. She is a true diva and I bet she thinks she is a really great person who deserves all the best treatment in the world. Blech. I will call her special circumstances girl.

Yay, Eliza Dushku is back on a new show. I have missed her. I need a DVR that records four shows at a time. I am missing so much good tv.

The first group is great. Even my lover is grinning at them. And Nick (aka Norman) made it through. Wow. However I did not recognize him until they said his name. Yikes, the group that included the multi-hued hair girl (Emily) suuuucccckkkkkeeddd. Emily just said, after being booted, "This is the only thing I know how to do" which is really sad because she does not know how to do this at all. So how will she ever get by? Her groupmate just said Paula had evil in her eyes. Why Paula? She sits there so impotently when the group is being canned.

I like Danny Gokey's voice (most of the time). I like that raspy thing.

Good Lord, what is Paula wearing? It is like a purple sequined body suit, that is wickedly high cut, because there is skin to be seen just under her boob. I bet when worn alone, it looks like one of those leotards (but with glitter) that Jane Fonda used to make us watch her wear.

It is time for Special Circumstances and her group. Confrontation time. Jasmine is the only diva that doesn't suck. Aw, bye Rose. Sad. She is so cute. But I am impressed that she made it that far. Jasmine will be one of the top singers. And it turns out that SC girl is really quite sweet.*

The Osmond kid is going home and he wants an opportunity to show what he can do. Can't he just call his aunt and ask to be on her new talk show? He is an OSMOND for goodness sakes. They make up 35% of the population. Opportunity. Cripes.

WHAAAT? Tatiana's group made it through? They sounded like my cat (x4) when I accidentally kicked him.

Headband/chin pins group is up. This kid is annoying to me. I wonder if he will cry?* He looks like a 1950's gas station attendant. Harmony is hard, but it should not be this hard. I am bleeding from my left ear. I should sue. Dang, we have to watch his water works some more. But this drama is why I love this part of the show soooo much. Yay.

What do the people with small children do? Who watches them? How can they live without their kids? Well, they have weeded through and we are down to 75 contestants. Who will be America's next Top Model Idol?


* This would be known as sarcasm.