Saturday, March 31, 2007

The Girl Who Takes Credit - March 28, 2007

This week the girls are going to be men and looking at them, it would seem to not necessitate much makeup for some of them. Is it just me, or are reality show producers running out of good looking people to put on their shows? This group is so uninteresting to me. The best looking one, in my opinion, is Renee, and she is pretty in the you-see-her-in-the-background-of-old-Aaron-Spelling-shows kind of way.

The show starts off with Natasha having phone sex with her mail orderee husband. They have a kid? Did I hear that right? I don't want to ever watch her growl into the phone again, please.

Why did they do that Raggedy Ann thing to Brittany's hair? That is the most god-awful thing I have seen since I accidentally dyed my friend's hair green in high school. Apparently you need to put some red into blonde hair before you dye it brown. Word to the wise.

The girls get to meet model Claudia Mason and Director of Elite Modeling, Cathy Gould. They demonstrate their best idiot faces and because this so impresses, repeat the agape mouth, wide eyed look at every opportunity.

Ah, and now they are men. Jaslene is an indifferent homeless man. This is a look she can really sell as we can see from
this photo shoot as well as this one from a few weeks ago. I hope there is a market for it!

Natasha, fresh from another round of phone sex, brings her A game to the
shoot. Toothpick flailin', crotch grabbin', gum foil grill flashin'! The girl is on fire as a skinny Eminem. Yes, skinnier than he used to be... I put foil on my tooth once and it sent a spark of pain through my system so severe that it changed my brown eyes to blue. True story!

I have to say I cheer when they cry. Maybe I should feel bad, but I don't. I gloat that they feel sad and leak from the eyes and nose and even more than that, I am thrilled to see that EVERYONE's nose looks red and huge when they cry.

It's time for Tyra to get all soft spoken and talk weird. I was thinking early on in the episode that they would give the boot (Louboutin?) to Dionne, but then I thought one of the fat girls was going. (Fat. Pheh. They are trying to tell me that size 8 to 10 is plus size? Not in America, honey!) Tyra tells weird Jael that she has some work to do, and then congratulates her for still being in the running for America's.Next.Top.Model. I have to admit that I would be confused by this. Work on what? Am I in trouble? I'm just sayin'. Jael got no advice, just an admonition.

Bye Diana. Apparently we will see you again, because you said we would on your way out the door. I'll hold my breath.


haveyouseenlucky said...

I wrote a post on this very episode!

You can read it here

I like how half assed Renee backed off her bitchiness. Last week was her one nice week, and then this week, she's calling out the fat girls again.

Please tell me you ain't hatin' on my girl Natasha. She is sunshine of my cathode ray tube. I probably would have been a mail order bride too if I was in her sitch. Besides, maybe her husband is actually this ultra cool charming famous guy who any girl would kill for. I liked when she snotted on the phone.

haveyouseenlucky said...

Oh, and as my friend Kelvicious said;

"BYE BYE DIANE, MY SWEET LITTLE DEBBIE CUPCAKE. don't eat ham sandwiches on the toilet, it's an embarassing way to die."

haveyouseenlucky said...

You are shirking!

Read my latest review here!