Auditions Premiere

So it begins AGAIN! At the end of every season, I declare that I am not a huge American Idol fan. In 2009, my great friend Jen got tickets for us to see the AI concert with the howler monkey and Anoooooop at the Verizon Center in DC. I responded, when seeing the tickets, with less than enthusiasm. (Jen was very disappointed with me). We went to the concert and had the best time ever though I believe that has more to do with Jen than it does with the immense talent of the AI crew. Still, my interest in the karaoke show wanes once the top ten is declared. Weird, isn't it, that that is when I start to write about it? Hmm.

In any case, I am watching the season premiere of the show tonight. I don't even know how many seasons it has been. As soon as I see Simon, I am yanked back in. Why do I have such a thing for him? And now he is leaving after the season? What to do?

Victoria Beckham is a guest judge and I feel like she and I could be great friends. Leave me alone. I live happily in my own little world. I call it Bugville. It's major! I thought Ellen was supposed to host. I am not thrilled about this. She hosted So You Think You Can Dance and was not funny or even very interesting to me. I am hoping she proves me wrong and is wildly entertaining.

This one girl auditioned because she totally nails the AI Wii game. I blame Simon for her thinking that her video game success will relate to show success because in an interview about the game, he claims that the game will help. I hope lots of people audition because the Simon avatar was all "1,000,000 percent YES!" on the game.

I also think that Proactiv should sponsor this show. (The guy who made me think this likes Chris Brown because he believes that he touches young people all around the world. Touches. more like punches. What? Too soon?) He wants to touch America. I think Chris Hansen will be speaking to him in a few years.

What the heck is that Swatch that Randy is wearing? Are the 80's really really really making a comeback? If so, there are certain things I would like to ban from this renaissance. Pegged pants. LA Gear shoes (though they may be more 90's. I still don't want to see them ever again). Frosty pink lipstick. MC Hammer. And grown men with Swatches. No. To be fair, I had two and I wore them at the same time on the same wrist. Awesome.

Andrew is awesome. He looks like a serial killer and acts like one, too. (Save for the missing arm cast, van, and sofa that he needs helping loading into aforementioned van). He is upset about waiting. This whole industry is a hurry up and wait industry. Kara said he needs a spanking. I thought she did not like him and now she is threatening him with a good time? She confuses me sometimes.

(Ooh, Simon smirked. I LOVE YOUUUU.)

She is a dream girl

Mercedes Jones, played by Amber Riley, sang "And I am Telling You" wayyyyyy better on Glee tonight than Jennifer Hudson did in Screamgirls. I think JenHud should give her Academy Award to Amber Riley. And then she should go away for ever.

See, Jennifer? You CAN sing without screaming! Yay.

Marketers need new drugs

What is up with the commercials these days? Most specifically car and anti-depression medication ads. Ugh.

1. Volkswagon. I already have issues with your marketing people, due to the series of ads that basically stated that if you drive a VW you WILL get hit. Now, they have a fella drenched in oil who unsuccessfully changed the oil in his brand new and very expensive Mercedes. The VW rolls up to inform him that oil changes are free and Volkswagon. That's great! However, a guy who just shelled out $50k-100K for a car is not going to be too worried about the cost of an oil change.

2. Lexus IS convertible: Promoting illegal endeavors (so it seems) during a time of economic crisis in which the average person cannot afford this car unless they commit illegal endeavors. Nice way to get around the recession, Lexus. Hey, future IS owners, go steal something and you can get away in your new convertible! Yay!

3. Cymbalta. You make me depressed watching your damn commercial. Seriously! Who does this Cymbalta ad hurt. Everyone.

4. Pristiq. There is a creepy little wind up doll that sticks around, even when the person is on anti-depression meds, to remind them that depression is always watching. I think this commercial is scary. That doll is gonna get you. Not the message I want from my anti-depression drugs. There it is! Augh!

Doobie doobie doo Dance!

I have successfully avoided watching "So You Think You Can Dance" until this season. Marci likes it and if Marci likes something, chances are I will too. So I DVR'd it.

I am in.

Holy smokes, these kids can move. Makes me think that I can move... until I get up and kick my leg up six inches from the floor and feel something unpleasant happen to my hamstring. I keep forgetting how old and unbendy I am. Still, I am wiggling along to the music while I watch, perhaps with some bizarre ingrained belief that I could dance like that if I just tried.

Oh, the bodies! I love all the muscle and the leanness and the flexibility. It is amazing what a body can do. Then they showed me Sean Kingston, off-tune possible offspring of Biz Markie. He is really fat, after seeing all these fit dancers bodies. Thanks for ruining my high.

I loveeeeddddd the Bollywood dance. I was exhausted just watching them. It was good to see Wade Robson's choreography. I loved the Crash Test Dummies dance.

So, I am in. Okay? And if I suddenly feel an urge to dance, grab my hand and join me!

RIP Grasshopper

I was watching Mental (episode 3, Book of Judges) which starred David Carradine. It was such a sad role to watch, knowing that he is dead. He was in a sort of disassociative state in which in seemed to have no connection to the real world, choosing instead to live in a fantasy brought upon by a lightning strike that hit him and killed his wife.

I don't know where I am going with this, but it struck me as sad. This was supposed to be aired while he was filming a new movie in Thailand. Instead, they are trying to figure out the details of his death. Then there is the whole lightning aspect which makes me sad for the people who were struck and killed by lightning recently, like the 12 year old boy in Fredericksburg, VA last week.

It was a sad episode. And it ended kind of gross with Estella Warren coming to "take care of unfinished business" with the good doctor. I dunno. Seemed a little cliched to me.

Goody Chelsea

Is Chelsea Handler being styled by the women from The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints?

(sorry for the crappy quality of the pictures)

It's over

Crap. Now what am I going to write about?