Supernanny

I watch Supernanny every week in the hopes that maybe some of the stuff she teaches to these hapless parents will worm its way into my head and I will just be a great parent someday, should I actually find a guy that's dumb enough to knock me up.
She basically teaches them all the same stuff, and yet every week I am confounded at the behavior of these little demons and have no clue as how to reel them in. She really is super, and not in the sarcastic, get out of my face way that Marci uses the word super.
I can tell you that if my ugly little crotch fruit told me they'd want to kill me, I'd send their tails flying across the room. But maybe that is why I am watching this show, as to learn that maybe physical abuse is not the best plan for creating perfect little angels.
I know of some people who could use the Supernanny's help. Can I call her on their behalf? And then hang around, hoping she will want to drive me around in her maxi-Cooper? (Cause that thing ain't no mini).